and we loved

Chapter 12

JACOB

"Whatcha doing?", Caden says, entering the room. He has that stupid grin on his face that shows me he's in love. For him and Nini began as a deal, but he's so fucking in love with her it's adorable. They aren't even dating, and he still keeps thinking it's a deal...but I know my best friend. And him having a wallpaper with Nini? No way that's just a deal. Even when he was dating Tessa, his wallpaper was a picture of his car somewhere on the road. And as he opens his screen now, he can't stop smiling.

Nini just got the part in her Romeo and Juliet play, and we went to celebrate at a dinner together. The five girls, the Fab Five, Darrel (Sofia's bodyguard, a person who would have killed Caden in case Alec somehow missed), Mark (Nessie's boyfriend)...and Leo. Dia's boyfriend. My Brooklyn's boyfriend. If longing for someone else's boyfriend is a sin, I declare myself guilty. For I can't let her go. And when I see the way he looks at her, what he does for her, I know I could treat her better. I could've been such a better boyfriend for her. I would've taken her out, made her smile, bought her every single vinyl she wanted, made her dance in the rain, cooked her breakfast in the bed, cherished her. He should've done all that. But he doesn't. He never will. And now I am stuck longing for what I can't have. There's nothing I hate more than that.

"I...", I begin, and don't know what to say. "I..."

Caden comes next to me and looks over at me from where he's standing. I am lying down on the bed, so done with the world right now. I now I love to smile and laugh, but I can't. I physically can't. Not after hours of watching the one I want kiss someone else.

"You know what would help?", Caden asks me. I look at him surprised. He walks to his backpack, brings a water bottle, opens the lid and empties it on my face.

I look surprised at him, my face all wet, water dripping all over me. "What the heck?!"

"Jacob Grant, welcome back to the world. You're the best guy I know and seeing you all sad and mopey like that hurts. So get your ass back together, tell me what's wrong and never give up", he gives me his motivational speech.

"Did you just use the speech you give the team before a game?", I ask him sarcastically.

He looks at me guilty. "I might have did."

"Get out", I shout.

"I am not a good pep talker, okay?", he says, looking at me even guiltier.

"OUT", I cut him short.

"Jacob, please tell me what's wrong. Pretty please."

I scoff and stand up so I can shake my head and wet his face. "I'll tell you once I get dry."

"When will that be?", he asks me confused.

"NEVER", I reply. "Now please just let me be. Just this once."

"Fine", he says sighing.

He gets out and shuts the door behind him. I go take a long shower and try to forget about what just happened with Dia.

How I can't have her.

As I get out from the shower, I find a bag filled with Asian takeout on my bed. Then a note saying: "I am so sorry about the water. Wanted to take you out from my trance. I'll be back whenever you want me too. Please just text me. We don't even have to talk about what happened, tell me when you're ready. Sweet dreams, asshole. -C"

I roll my eyes and as I step out on the balcony, I notice he's stargazing with Nini outside. I look at them and wish I could be so close with Dia. I wish I could have the chance he has. If I would get a chance with Dia, I wouldn't call it a fake. I would tell her how I feel, cherish each moment, make her feel loved.

Yet I look at Nini and Caden and all I see is love. No sign of anything fake.

I smile at that and decide to let him have his night.

I go back to sleep only to stay awake all night.