I can't.
I'm always angry or sad all the time. I just pretend for people and it's making me insane. I have no idea now how much I can keep doing this. I don't know how long I can keep going on in my life. I walk around while everyone is happy and I'm just right here miserable as always. I just pretend. Pretend. Pretend. Just for everyone to be happy. The smell of love makes me sick and it's in toxicating. I can't do this everyth hurts too much and I know nobody irl cares. They just pity me and ik it. But I just put on a fake personality and pretend so they could be happy and not have to worry about me anymore and focus on themselves and everything is happy and good for them. I wish I was happy.
I want to be happy but I know I never will I was never meant to be happy I was meant to make others not myself and I just know I'll never be happy not ever and it's sad but true. I deserve it and I just can't help it anymore. I don't know how much more I could for real take if this. I'm so tired. I'm alone. I get ignored. Ditched. But I understand I'm not really worth people's time. I'm chill it's whatever. As long as people are happy then it's okay. It's not bad being alone. It's nice but still feeling alone isn't fun.
