Not really suicidal anymore (still working on. It) but pissed off dumb bitch ditch me for another dumb bitch that's even dumber. Whatever. Hurts. But whatever. I hurt her. She hurt me. We hurt each other. But damn. I love her. I do. I miss her. I do. I want her. I do.
But she doesn't.
And that's okay.
Idk why I feel like this with her. Or I'm going to met her again but something about her I can't get over and it's fucking with my head so so bad. And Ik I'm only 15 but I'm telling you I really feel something I never felt before and I know I never will.
Her friend hates me. But I don't care. She's a dumb bitch. That likes to stalk her crush and take secret pictures of him (WEIRDOOOOO) but ugh.
At least my other friend is true. But her. I just can't. I know there is something about her. I miss her so much. But ever since she "got" with him. I just. Ugh. He literally called my cousin a fat bitch. He literally got us in trouble in class for dropping the lizard. He's the dumbest and weirdest ever. What's his face. What's his face. What's his face. That's what I call him.
I don't understand. She only knew him for 7 months. I knew her for about going on 6 years now. She knew her weird friend for like 1-2 years. Ugh. I trusted her. I trust you. Why did you do this? I forgive you. But you still ignore me. I'm trying to be friends again. But you don't care. You don't care. You don't care. You don't care. I miss the only you before meeting your psycho friend and what's his face.
You were sweeter. And nicer.
But you lead me on for years talking about your crushes knowing I liked you. Then you flirt with me fucking with me more. God fucking damnit I'm a idiot aren't I? I can't. Ugh. I'm truly am retarded.
God I hate all this. I want you back. I want the old you. We miss the old you. All of us. But yet we just stand by and let you fade away. I know if you ever read this you'll cringe and make fun of me and laugh with your head back and call me emo and hell maybe even talk shit behind my back.
I know I could be mean to others but I wouldn't to my friends or cousins. If you have something to say say it to my face. But honest. I know you ditch me because you don't wanna be friends. You hang with a psycho stalker girl who hates me and everyone. I told you I have a bad feeling about her. And about what's his face. But hey you won't listen. Ugh. Whatever. Stay delusional.
You can't even see that I'm acting out simple and easy sarcasm when I joke or be mean. And you're supposed to be in English honors?
How degrading.
