Her Blue Eyes (GxG) [Completed]

Part 23: Do you still love me?

Lily's POV:

As the doorbell rang, I opened the door for Ashley. She walked in after a simple hi with her baggage in her hand. I watched her as she went straight to the bedroom and slumped down into Diana's arms, crying.

I stopped at the bedroom doorway and watched them stay still in each other's embrace. While Diana was stroking Ashley's hair, she glanced at me for a second and averted her cold, indifferent gaze.

My heart throbbed in pain, feeling vulnerable. A sudden rush of anxiety crawled into my skin.

I pulled out my notebook and my books out of my backpack and sat on the floor, behind the coffee table in the living room, trying to keep my mind busy. I'd rather immerse myself in writing my diary or poems at the moment instead of watching them.

However, I could still hear their voices talking to each other, so I plugged my airpods in and turned on my music; Summertime Sadness by Lana Del Rey.

~

My dear diary,

I feel like a child who is lost...

I feel like an abandoned child who has no one ever wanted...

I feel like I don't deserve to be loved...

I feel like I'm the reason why my life is a mess...

Because I keep making mistakes...

Because I keep disappointing others...

Because I'm a stupid girl...

Right...

I'm indeed stupid----

I scribbled my pen on the paper aimlessly, haunted by my negative thoughts...

I let out a sigh and put my head on the table, closing my eyes. I wish we were alone right now... I really need to talk to Diana... But...

I tried to swallow today's insanity.

~

"Lily," Diana called me as she patted my shoulder.

I opened my eyes and looked at her in wonder. She then said, "Go rest on the bed."

"I'm fine here." I mumbled and closed my eyes again.

"Whatever." Diana muttered and then asked Ashley, "What would you like to eat, Ash?"

Whatever?... Did she just say whatever?!... I thought as I gritted my teeth.

I could hear them standing near me, talking about what they wanted to order for dinner. I sprang up, annoyed, and walked to the bedroom, closing the door behind me.
As I lay down on the bed and buried my face in my pillow, my tears welled down unconsciously.
I eventually drifted off to sleep while crying until Ashley woke me up.

"Little Lily, dinner is here. Come out to eat..." She said as her eyes were red from crying, yet a smile was on her lips.

I sat straight and rubbed my eyes, "Okay."

Ashley grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the room to the dining table. We all sat together and started digging down the Chinese food that they had ordered. Then Ashley said, "I heard from Dee what happened to you today. Are you alright now?"

I'm not... How can I be?...

I froze for a second and then said with a fake smile on my face, "Yeah... I'm totally fine."

"That's good then. You should be more careful from now on..." Ashley answered.

I only nodded my head in agreement and glanced at Diana, sitting across the table; her head was hung low and busy with her food. She obviously was avoiding me...