Waterborne (Wanderlust 3)

Chapter Fifteen

Tanden sat up with a gasp, startling Soren. He looked around, eyes wide with panic, not quite yet awake.

Soren lay a hand on Tanden's wrist. "Captain. Tanden. You're awake, relax." He could feel Tanden's pulse racing. "You were dreaming. Remember? Elorie said you would have weird dreams."

Soren had been with him all night, but it wasn't until earlier that morning that Tanden started thrashing and whining. Unsure about whether waking Tanden up was the right decision, Soren had hovered nearby, watching. Now, given the panic in Tanden's eyes, Soren wished he had tried to wake him up sooner.

"A dream." Tanden said it like he was trying to convince himself. His breathing slowed. "Right. Yes."

Soren slid his hand over to take Tanden's. "Are you all right?"

Tanden's fingers tightened in his. "Yes. I'm fine. It was just... a lot. A dinner party in the sky. You and I were there, too. Another me, I mean. A mean me. He—I—whatever, he said you like Ara more than me."

Soren brought Tanden's hand to his lips, and kissed his fingers. "The other you sounds like an idiot."

Tanden smiled weakly. "He does, doesn't he?"

"I love you," Soren said. "I married you. We belong to each other." He felt Tanden's hand tense. "What?"

Tanden went to rub his face with his left hand, but then seemed to notice the bandaging around his palm and went still, staring at it. "It's nothing. Just that I don't belong to anyone."

Soren didn't know what to make of that. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing. No. The gods were arguing over who owns me, and where I belong. If I'm a Tandran or an Eko, or..."

Soren ran his thumb over the square blue stone of Tanden's crest ring. "This means you're a Tandran, no matter where in the world you are. Do you think..." It was a complicated question, but Soren knew that being straightforward was the best way to get an answer. "Do you think they were real? The gods?"

Tanden shrugged. "It felt real, even after the other me and you turned up. I guess it could be. But it just as easily could have been the smoke and my head trying to work things out. I don't know."

"Did you work things out?"

It took Tanden a long moment to shake his head. "No, I don't think I did."

"Can I help?"

Tanden looked up. "I... I don't think you can. And I'm not trying to be stoic," he added in a rush. "I think I just need more time to distance myself from the anniversary, and think about this dream. Or vision, message, whatever it was. Because if it was a dream, it all came from my own head, and my own worries. And if it was a real vision, then the gods know me very well. I'll tell you if you can help later. I promise."

That was the best he was going to get, so Soren nodded. "Aye, all right. But no more rituals."

Tanden exhaled sharply, almost a laugh. "Aye, sir."

"Good." Soren pulled his hand from Tanden's and stood. "I'll get us breakfast." He was nearly at the door when Tanden called after him, and he turned around. "Hmm?"

"If it was a real vision," Tanden said. "Roe and the Old God of the Sea were both there, which means that—"

Soren walked out. He could hear Tanden laughing even as the door swung closed behind him, which was a relief.

He hurried belowdecks, to the galley. About half of the crew was still sitting around the table eating before their shifts started. Soren was pleased to see the little cluster of his friends, and he changed course to take a moment with them.