On The Other Side

Chapter 39 - Too Late

CLAY
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You know what they say dying feels like?

No. You don't know what they say, because no one says it. The people who die aren't around to tell us what it felt like when it happened. The people who live never died to begin with, so they're unable to describe it.

But I'm in it. So let me tell you about it while I still can.

There's a moment, a split second before you close your eyes for the very last time when you can actually feel yourself embracing death.

You can feel your heart as it begins to slow down, preparing to come to a halt.

You can feel your brain shut off, the circuits slamming shut like doors.

You can feel your eyes closing, no matter how hard you try to keep them open. And you realize that whatever you're looking at in the moment you close your eyes, that's the last thing you're ever going to see.

I see George. He's all I see.
I see him screaming.
I see Pablo pick him up and throw him on the bed.
I see him trying to fight Pablo off.
I see him giving up.

That's why I refuse to close my eyes.

I look down at the blood pouring from my chest, the life seeping out of me and onto the floor.

I've made enough mistakes that caused George to be in the position he's in right now. I refuse to die before correcting a few of them.

It takes everything in me, but I stretch my legs out until I'm able to reach the gun with my ankle. There's blood all over my hands, so I struggle getting a grip on it, but finally manage.

I may not be the best in a lot of areas, but I have one hell of an aim.

Right when I lift my gun, Pablo points his gun at himself.

No fucking way is he getting off that easy.

I refuse to close my eyes as I wrap my finger around the trigger and squeeze, watching as the bullet penetrates his wrist, sending his gun several feet across the room.

I refuse to close my eyes when the sound of three more shots rings in my ears, this time coming from the direction of the bedroom door.

I refuse to close my eyes as I see Nick and Karl kick open the door and rush in, followed by several other men.

I refuse to close my eyes until Pablo's on the floor, several feet away from George, being handcuffed.

I refuse to close my eyes until they meet George's.

He's off the bed, across the room, on his knees, pressing his hands to my chest, doing everything he can to keep the rest of the life from seeping out of me.

I don't even have enough energy left to tell him it's too late.

I close my eyes for the last time.

But it's okay because he's all I see.

He's the last thing I'll ever see.

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