𝐖𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐏 [Jean Kirstein X Fem!Reader]

𝟏𝟒~ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍

Day of Mission.

Y/N's POV

I had to wake up super early today. Erwin wants us to get into the city center in time for the excursion. I propped myself up out of bed and checked the analog clock above our dorm door. 

'5:17AM' It read. I wiped the sleep out of my eyes and began getting my uniform and gear together along with my green cloak. Much to my surprise everyone else was waking up as well. I looked to Jeans bed to see him already dressed for the day looking directly at me. I smiled at him and scoffed. "You didn't seriously get up just to wave me off?" I mocked and he stuck his tongue out at me before laughing and standing to tower over me. "Yes..We all did" I looked quizzingly at him before noticing everyone else already had their uniforms on and boots polished. I felt genuinely touched and smiled blissfully. 

I look back at Jean and pull him into a soft hug. "Hey, He gets a hug? The rest of us could've stayed in bed!" Bertholdt exclaimed. I laughed and held out an arm gesturing everyone to fall into a group hug to which they quickly accepted. Reiner then wrapped us all in and practically suffocated me in the middle making a small wheeze escape with my laughter. We all parted from the large hug and began to get ourselves and my mountain of gear out of the dorm room and on our way to the mess hall. I walked next to Jean who charismatically took my large amount of horse riding gear and various other bags so I didn't quote 'injure myself before my big break.' He really was a sweetheart. 

We strolled into the mess hall, which only had two guests currently. Erwin and Levi sat discussing the plan ahead of time. Our whole group saluted them with our hearts. They gave a quaint smile and waved the salute off to ease us. Jean put my collection of stuff down and then slapped his hands together "Right you. Big breakfast needed for your big mission would the madam like Slop or Slop?" He joked with his notorious wink and gorgeous flashy smile. I rolled my eyes and smiled at him. "Actually I was thinking a walk before I eat. Just us two?" I twiddled with my thumbs slightly looking away from his direction before hearing him chuckle. 

"Fine but not a long walk! Erwin and Levi need you leaving by six and you need to eat!" He pressed poking a dig into my chest. I nodded and saluted "Oh yes sir, Anything for you sir!" I retorted sarcastically. He cocked an eyebrow before turning and walking towards our usual route "Don't talk dirty to me" He yelled back causing my cheeks to glow red.

"Hey you bastard!" I ran catching up to him before he got to the door to which he surprisingly opened and gestured for me to go first. "Oh okay Gentleman" I chuckled, jokingly curtsying to him and skipping through the open door with him following at my footsteps. I scurry down the little steps to our route with glee. I genuinely felt happiness in this moment as I looked back to Jean ushering him to hurry up. I skipped my way down the route until I spotted Eren standing in front of me a few meters of distance between us. I stopped in my tracks and stared at him. I didn't feel any rage. Just an uncomfortable detachment from him. It was like he burned a hole into my heart and the muscles are struggling to fight the fire. 

"Okay just hear me out for a minute" He started, holding his hands up and backing away a few steps to show he wasn't going to be a threat. I held my fists at my side and stared at him, silence blossomed in the air. Jean came up behind me and laid a hand on my shoulder, stepping in front of me "Need me to cover your back?" He whispered to me, his voice laced with care. I smile and tap his hand to say I was okay. "No, Let him talk" I spoke softly. He removed his hand and stepped back behind me allowing me to stare Eren in the face. I curtly nodded at Eren to continue.

He sighed heavily "Look..I..I don't want you to go on this..death mission absolutely hating my guts. I know..I know that sounds really selfish of me, but I couldn't keep living knowing you could die whilst I live as a bad memory in your head.." He trailed off staring at the floor. He slowly looked back up at me and continued his speech "I know I was really shitty to you both verbally and..physically" He sighed the last word as Jean perked his ears up and barked