"Good evening, Miss Squirrel. I'm happy to see you again. I'll leave this here for you," I smile placing a hazelnut on a tree branch carefully so the small animal can reach it. "Good evening to you too, Mister Robin. Oh, yes, I've found lot of blackberries today, I have a full basket, thank you for asking. Good evening, Mister Beetle, I can't stop to talk, it's getting late and you know it's not a good idea to wander around the forest when the sun sets..." I smile, winking at the insect, walking two steps towards the entrance of the cave before stopping and turning around abruptly. I tilt my head, moving closer to the beetle, staring at it. "Do you think I'm crazy? I think I am, after all, I'm here talking to a bug..."
I nod, smiling again, raising my head to enjoy the last rays of sun before locking myself up underground. I need all the vitamin D and fresh air I can get, these forest walks collecting berries and nuts, fishing in the river and checking the traps for hunting rabbits are the only things that keep me sane... almost. Actually, I assumed that I was losing my mind years ago and loneliness was going to kill me, not a monster with sharp fangs. Although pneumonia almost manages to do it last winter, if it weren't for the expired antibiotics I found in a cabinet, I wouldn't be here today talking to a nasty beetle.
Anyway, suicidal thoughts are becoming frequent, I'm sure it won't take long for me to be so deranged that I'll decide to jump from a cliff or something like that. I sigh wearily and turn around finally, moving like an automaton, getting into the cave, survival instinct and fear keep forcing me to hide every night. I walk slowly but with firm steps, I know every rock here and don't need to light a candle or a flashlight, I won't get lost, I've been walking down the same tunnels for the last 20 years again and again. I could do it with my eyes shut.
I raise my hand and my fingers graze the door handle in the dark, I sigh again and open it, walking into my home and leaving the basket full of blackberries on a table. It's not dark in here although light is dim because the water wheel turning in the little underground stream moves a generator that's small too, which means I can't afford as many light bulbs as Las Vegas Strip... I wonder if the city is still there. Do vampires play in casinos?
I shake my head to clear my mind and pile up the fruit on a plate to put it in the small fridge. My father was a smart guy, he knew we wouldn't need so many light bulbs in this shelter but a fridge, a freezer and an electric heater in winter were essential. All the construction materials and appliances he bought were top quality, this is why they're still working two decades later and this is why I managed to survive... even if I'm going crazy.
"Maybe it was going to happen anyways," I mumble taking off my boots and flopping down on the couch. "Dad was mad as a hatter, to be honest. Maybe I got my mental problems from him and they have nothing to do with living in a fallout shelter inside a cave for 20 years... or even more, I don't know if calculating the time right. All days seem the same down here."
I tilt my head back, leaning it on the seatback, staring at the grey metallic ceiling. Everything is grey around me: concrete, steel, rock... Dad was nuts but he was a great architect and house builder and spent lot of money building this shelter. I hated him for that, I never had fancy clothes, the last state-of-the-art video game or some sneakers from a popular brand because all the money he earned was spent in his obsession: getting ready for the Armageddon. He didn't even stop when mom left us running off with another man, a guy that paid attention to her instead of listening to conspiracy theories. Dad kept drawing up plans, buying construction materials, determined to find the perfect shelter, undetectable. An epidemy, the III World War, an alien invasion... he didn't care and only wanted to get ready for it.
Eventually, he found this cave in the middle of a lush forest not far away from the village where my grandparents used to live and thought it was the right spot: it had a source of drinking water very close thanks to the stream, it'll provide electricity too, it had adequate ventilation thanks to the tunnels and the heat generated inside this bunker would dissipate into the rock walls and couldn't be detected from outside. He built an apartment with two small rooms, a bathroom and a kitchen and living room. I can't help smiling, my father always included me in his plans despite he knew that I thought he was crazy. This is why he filled this place with enough canned food for two people, he bought clothes in my size, medicines, toiletries with violet perfume and my favourite books.
