Following the lost trail

Chapter 1

     It hurts... Everything hurts...

December 25, 2015

"I stumble through snow covered streets, panting. It's cold and I don't know where I am. I need to move, everything's happening so fast, I'm really scared. I don't know what's going on. There's a flash of light, a bang, my stomach really hurts... My hands are..."

Present day (March 23rd 2016)
"Lily that's enough, you are pushing yourself to hard trying to remember." My therapist Brenda tells me while smoothing out her white pencil skirt. I look at her with a pleading look.

"No it's not fair, we always stop right at that part! I need to know Brenda, I need to know what happened to me." I yell as I attempt to get up out of my wheel chair. I fall to the ground instantly, groaning.

"Lily I know it's hard right now." Brenda begins as she fixing her blonde ponytail " But you need to be patient. You aren't emotionally ready for what you keep trying to remember, I mean you are still adjusting to the wheel chair."

" I'm not ready! I was in a coma for two months! I'm awake now and nothing seems to be right. My husband he's not himself, he's not my husband. I don't know how you can be so calm, is none of this unnerving to you, do you not care about me as a patient?" I hiss, I'm tired I have been waiting for to long I need answers.

" Now listen here Lilian" Brenda makes her way towards me and grabs my arms to help me stand. " you know all I wanna do is help you. But first we gotta get you passed all this resentment you have towards your husband. He's a kind young man, who loves you dearly sweetheart. I know you can't remember him right now but you will eventually and you will fall back in love, slowly but surly." She pats my hands as I adjust myself in my seat.

" Brenda you must know I'm scared. I don't remember my parents even dying, I don't remember any of my old friends and you just except me to be okay. I'm not, I just want to know what's happening, like since when am I a high school English teacher. I hate English!" I rub my head slowly, these weekly arguments are killing me.

" Pretty little Lily don't worry any more, it all comes with patience and time. If you keep on worrying like this you are gonna get wrinkles and grey hair, and you are much to young for any of that doll face." Brenda smiles showing me her perfect white teeth. "Now you wait right here and I'm gonna go get your husband to wheel you out. You did great today sweetie. You'll get that memory back before you know it." She winks at me as she gracefully leaves the room.

"Ughhhhh" I hate her. So young, sweet, and patient it's so obnoxious. Why can't she just show emotion like a normal human being. I hear a soft knock on the door, and a deep voice call out.

" Hey love, may I come in?"

" Evan come in, you don't have to ask." I respond. The door opens gently as my husband comes in. He's handsome, tall, muscular, golden blonde hair, pale skin, and beautiful eyes. He's could be the poster boy for America. I should feel proud to be the wife of him, he's Mr. perfect. But I just... He's not him. He can't  be my husband. My husband I don't even remember,  but I know I know it's not him.

"Lily, are you okay? " Evan asks me softly.

" I'm fine Evan, can we leave now? I hate this place." Moving my brown hair out of my face. I can't look at him right now. Whenever I see his face he looks so sad and lost that I can't remember him, he seems truly heart broken and it makes everything that much harder.

" Of course! " he smiles at me happily " I was thinking we could stop by the store pick up some ice cream, then we could sit down and binge all the movies we want together!"

" If that's what you want to do then I am happy to oblige." I force a smile. It's so hard to hate somebody who is trying so hard to please you. " Can we go to mass tomorrow?" I ask "I really miss it"

" The doctor told us not to be doing any activities that could stress you out. And I know the priest sometimes ruffles your feathers Lily. Maybe next week after a massage?"

" Seeing stupid Brenda  stresses me out, but we still have to do it." I growl. He always avoids church. It's as if he thinks I will hate the idea of joining a congregation.

"I love you so much honey" Evan reminds me as he gently caresses my hair. I lean into his touch feeling slightly comforted by this gesture. "Let's go home" he kisses my head and wheels me off to his car.

...

Fifteen minutes later we arrived home. I look up at the house still amazed by its size. A beautiful Victorian style home on a plot of land that is at least three acres. Evans family horses are running in the distance; I must have been really distracted, because next thing I know my door is being opened and I'm being carried to the front door.
" You don't need to carry me Evan"

"I know Lily, but I want to. I love you so much."

"Evan..."

" I know sweetie you don't have to say it, deep down I know you do even if you don't remember."
I focus my eyes forward not willing to continue this conversation. Nothing feels right anymore. As we enter the house I am greeted with the smell of lavender, I inhale sharply and close my eyes. It reminds me so much of my mom's perfume. Frowning I look up at Evan.
"I want to visit my parents grave."

"It's a little late at night for that today honey" Evan responds

"Tomorrow then?"

"Of course Lily" Evan smiles down at me.

...
So this is chapter 1! I write super slow so if I'm taking to long please tell me. I enjoy your feedback, but refrain from being to negative.

With love your author,
Vanessa