The Golden Girl

ending author's note

I started this series back in 2015. I was a newly practising muslim then, I had recently started wearing the hijab and becoming more serious with my prayers. Despite growing up in a muslim household and society, it wasn't perceived well.

Free-mixing and dating is pretty common in the environment I grew up in and Islam was more of a cultural aspect in my life. The friends I hung out with weren't that religiously aware as well. So when I found my way back to the right path, by the Grace of Allah, I became the black sheep of my social circle. It was isolating the to say the least.

It was during that time I found my way back to Wattpad - a place I frequented on and off for years. Scrolling through the fictional stories in my phone became a more comfortable place than my own household. Even in Wattpad though, I couldn't find muslims that I could relate to. The characters I read about were either the good guys or the villains, the families they came from were either religious and supportive or abusive, and the protagonists were always rightly guided with no past to battle with. There was no in between; and no stories that captured the nuances of my society and reality.

So I decided to write a book that was close to my reality, with characters similar to people in my society. And thus this series was born.

I have mentioned this before, the book was supposed to follow Dahlia and Aryan originally. The storyline was about a girl struggling to accept her Faith. She was fighting the desires of her own soul and the external challenges provided by society simultaneously. The couple was meant to be a satire of the typical bad boy - good girls stories popular when this book was originally written, and they were never meant to end up together. The book was supposed to be a warning against fitnah that stems from free mixing.

However, as years passed, I realized I no longer felt any motivation to write Dahlia and Aryan's story. I began writing this book fresh out of high school, as years passed and your girl grew older and wiser, I outgrew the original storyline I was set to write.

But the characters remained with me, so did the relationships and the friendships, and even though I no longer felt any interest in the couple I originally set to write about, the chemistry between the FMC's best friend and brother refused to leave my mind. In 2017, I decided to discontinue Whims of the Bewildered and to give M&I their own book; and thus, The Golden Girl was born.

I repeatedly set aside this book and let it collect dust in my drafts. The messages I wanted to deliver through this book still remained valid. But I no longer related to the cliché high school tropes, the teen angst; and the long list of characters gave me a headache. I grew up, but my characters didn't, and my writing style has changed.

If you guys can't tell, at this point in life I relate to Malika's mother more than her lol. While writing the book I constantly veered towards reprimanding Malika and had to remind myself that I was writing her narrative and had to validate her feelings.

Meanwhile, I wrote both of its sequels and gave away the ending of this book. I came back to it year after year, yet, I just couldn't bring myself to get back into the story set in high school and the characters I could no longer relate to. It has been a hot minute since I have been a teenager lol.

Fast forward to 2023, I had some free time in my hands. Being someone who hates leaving things halfway, I knew it was high time I sucked it up and completed this project once and for all! I realized, even though the first half of this book is set in high school, the second half of it isn't - and the characters in that timeline is a lot more closer to me in age.

Fun fact: Originally, the entire story was meant to be set in high school. As I grew up and gathered new experiences, the characters and plot changed with me over the years.

So I got to work on the second half of the book. As soon as the characters stepped into their twenties, I found them relatable once more. It took me just a couple months to complete the second half of the book, though it had been sitting in my drafts for close to ten years. Once that was out of the way, I found it much easier to go back and finish the high school scenes. At that point it just felt like connecting the dots.

There were times I still struggled to write the book. The romance written is one of the most unrealistic I have ever written. You guys, I know this book has too many characters! There were times I contemplated changing these things. At the end, I decided to stick to the original storyline and characters my young-self set out to write about.

Ibrahim has to be one of the least ambiguous character I have ever written. Which is probably why I struggled to write him the most lol! There are times I still feel like I don't know my sweet boy and perhaps didn't do as great as a job as I did with my other male characters. But it's okay, at least I tried.

I also tried my best to use Gen Z references throughout the book, especially for the titles, but you can see my grandma soul peaking through at times.

I hold both Malika and Dahlia's stories close to my heart. When writing conversations between them, I often felt like I was just writing about two sides of the same coin. One girl suffered at society's hand for being too conservative, the other for being too liberal.

Though Dahlia's journey is the one that is closest to mine, some of Malika's journey is also based on my experiences as well (no, not the nudes leaking part, thank God!). Ironic, isn't it? As someone who didn't exactly have a religious upbringing, struggled to identify as a 'religious' person for years and can define life as 'before' and 'after' Islam, I wanted to write a female protagonist like that as well.

I also want to mention that when I came back to the book in 2023, it was astonishing to me how much my life has changed over the years. Non-religious friends, fitnah of haram relationships, struggle with hijab and lack of support from family - these things are now a concern of the past and you can see a reflection of that in the sequels.

I have other issues now and new temptations, but over the years Allah has turned the hearts of my family members and blessed me with friends who are more like me. He has also made me stronger than the petty high school issues that seemed like the end of life at that time.

The point of mentioning this is to just to remind us all that everything in this world is temporary, so are our problems. If there's any new muslim/newly practicing muslim reading this, know that it gets easier with time! If you patiently hold onto your Faith, Allah will come through for you and make things better.

I want to thank every single person who took this journey with me. You guys are the reason I keep coming back to this website year after year. And those of who didn't read the sequels yet, your journey with the characters continue (if you wish to keep reading) and I hope you enjoy the rest of the series.

Now before we part ways until the fourth book I want to leave you with this piece of information:

There's a picture I have used in this book that was taken by me lol. Let's see if anyone can find it.