FOREWORD
My husband, our children and I had just returned to
our country after living for almost two years in Portugal.
Fabio had been invited by a friend to take a drummer´s test
in an important musical group in Portugal called "Madredeus".
We had a wonderful time in Lisbon, but after two years, the
contract with the band ended.
We were back in an adjusting period in our country, starting
over our financial life and settling for some time in my parent´s
home. He ; a musician, I ; a psychologist.
Things were flowing in an almost zero speed. He - starting to
contact his musical partners, and I - lost; thinking again if I should work in a restaurant, continue my difficult self- employed carrier as a psychologist, or begin another college degree. Never sure of what I wanted to do in life.
Coming back to Brasil was almost an imposition of circumstances since Portugal was in great economic difficulties after the crisis in 2008.
We were just going home after taking the kids to school in a boring week day. He - driving a borrowed car, I - in the passenger
front seat, staring at nothing, focused on my loneliness
and inner confusions.
- Gra, why don´t you write a book? - My husband asks very
confident.
Leaving my fabulous confused world and directing my attention
to that voice that represented the real world, I answer felling
a bit dull:
- A book?
-- Yes, what a perfect idea! You can write about so many things
you ´ve lived: your travellings, your perception of life, your
personal crisis...
He became thoughtful and continued in a motivated tone of voice:
- That´s it Gra. Tha´s what you will do. I have decided for you
(I guess he was really meaning and desperate to help me)
- Ok, all right, but who am I to write a book? I am such an ordinary person. Who will be interested in my private daydreaming?
- Yes, you are ordinary and that´s why people can identify with your thinking and feeling. Besides, you love to write and you have many stories about your travelling. Why don´t you write a book about your adventures in India?
Already loving the idea and living my confused and hazy mental world, I answer:
-I dont´t know... a book about adventures, …no.
He had a sharpened mind moment:
- Maybe a book about your adventures, you crisis with God and your profession?
- Uau, now I feel like the most problematic person in the world.
-No Gra, I thing you understand what I´m saying. You know the crisis and you also know the ways of coming out of them. Write naturally about your personal conflicts, your questionings, your perceptions. Write about all you have been learning in your studies. Let the psychologist arise.
- Yes, that would be really nice. It could be a light, fun and useful book.
And even having bought the idea, my saboteurs, insist on reacting:
- Ok, but in order to write, I need to have discipline, thing I never naturally had. It was always imposed by my parents and schools I ´ve studied and it had not worked. I am averse to this "type of thing".
- Don´t say that! When you say you have to have discipline, you discourage yourself.
- But it´s true. I want to have discipline, and without it I´ll wake up tomorrow and think about a million things I have to do and will forget about the book.
- You have to be inspired, motivated! You have to wake up in the morning and say to yourself: " I am so glad I am going to write my book"!
In my head, lies the dialog I had just watched about Chico Xavier and his spiritual guide who says:
- Chico, in order for you to work for good, you will not be left helpless, but you ´ll have to respect three basic rules: the first one is discipline.
- How about the second one? - Asks Chico
- The second is about discipline too.
- And the third?
Smiling, Emmanuel responds:
- The third is also about discipline.
Uau, can I make it?
Yes, if I search for pleasure and commitement to this task ...
Yes, if I write a little at a time...
Yes, if I rub my hands together every morning saying: today I am going to write my book!
