Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
BACKSTORY: readers gotten better with her old habits, or he thought so. This story contains mentions of self harm blood and sharp objects. ANGST!! This story is off tom kaulitz and contains sensitive topics. Fem x Tom kaulitz
**
READERS POV: Laying their feeling toms arms wrap around my torso his head resting on my shoulder breathing heavily in my ear, his sent of light cologne mixed with a hint of cigarettes as I sense toms thumb rub over the surface of my stomach softly.
His soothing breathes coming out his nose and in slowly at a slow relaxing pace.
the dark blue night sky beaming through the window door into the room filling it with its blue light, as doors lead to the small beautiful balcony looking out at the oceans, small waves being swept on the shore and back into the ocean.
TOMS POV:
my eyes close as I feel strands of her beautiful freshly washed hair on the side of my cheek. my eyes shut completely. my hand moves to her hand intertwining it with hers and my finger tips gently graze her palm limply.
my hand leaving hers as I gently wrap my finger around her dainty small wrist, I hear her breath hitch quietly as I graze my fingers over her slightly textured wrist feeling her healed scars under my fingers.
I'm so proud of her progress, I love her.
READERS POV:
the thing was, I wasn't better I never was, the soothing nights where me and Tom talked about it, it meant nothing to me, really.
The night it went down repeated its self over and over again , his tears, my tears. Oh if I cut deep enough I'd be what want to be, dead.
"hm baby..I'm gonna go to the bathroom" I said softly turning my body my chest facing his chest, my eyelashes fluttering barely showing because of the turned off lights but some blue skylight filling the room made it visible.
"Yeah go ahead baby, no problem" he said softly with a quiet voice putting a strand of my hair behind my ear smiling at me giving me a quick kiss firmly on my lips.
With that I slowly take off the blanket from my legs sitting up and getting out of bed groaning lightly as I stretch my arms, feeling Toms eyes pierce my back.
Walking to the bathroom slowly keeping my head down and rubbing my eye with one hand and opening the bathroom door with one hand.
I enter it and close it behind me turning on the bright white lights as I quickly close my eyes due to its sensitivity from just waking up, even though it was around 2:00.
I let out a deep sigh as I took a look of my wrist holding them up inspecting them with a hint of joy and remorse.
I turn my focus to the cabinet next to the sink and reach for the Handel and breathing a bit quicker but not with fear but with excitement.
Slowly opening it I rummage through the cabinets through the shaving cream, eye cream, moisturizer etc before finding what I needed.
The thing I haven't held since the incident. The blade, it felt so nice in my hand, it fit perfectly like it was meant to be used, by me.
I sit by the door and hold the blade in one hand holding out my wrist closing my eyes tension running through air, the heavy fast breathing, the oceans quiet waves coming from time to time.
Closing my eyes I tilt it back as it hits the door. I bring the blade to my wrist breathing out one last time before pressing deep in my wrist and swiftly slit my wrist. Biting my lip harshly.
The nostalgia, the excitement rushing through me as the pain felt soothingly good in my wrist.
I didn't open my eyes but I felt the blood drip of my wrist hitting the ground, as I went for it again putting the blade on the fresh slit biting the inside of my lip in pain while smiling widely.
I pressed down on my fresh slit pressing down harshly making my eyes open wide, a wince is heard from my slightly parted lips.
I hear noise from behind the door as my panic increases intensively. I quickly stand as I try putting the blade away but I get very dizzy and start seeing stars, if felt so good I staid stand well I tried..
TOMS POV:
While I lay in bed feeling the sheets of the bed over my body. My braids falling over my shoulder as I open my eyes fully as she's in the bathroom I groan as I wait for to come out and get back in bed with me, she really is my world.
I hear her pretty voice from the bathroom. But she sounds hurt?
My face drops as my mind wanders to all the thoughts rushing through me head .
I rush out of bed wanking off the sheet of my body quick and stumbling out of bed with worry and distress.
I stumble into the door banging on it harshly "baby? You okay" I said as my words tremble with fear getting no response but some sniffles from the other side of the door.
"Baby what did you do?!" My voice hitches in fear as I bang on the door with both of my fists "open the open the goddam door!" I say but all I get in response is a sound of a piece of metal hitting the bathroom tile floor.
Tears form in my eyes as I look at the dark door with fear and sorrow "baby. I thought you've gotten better" I say as I step away from the door and banging it open swiftly as the wood on the door creaks open breaking the lock.
I burst in heavily breathing looking back at the floor, my body shaking and trembling as i kneel down to my limp girlfriend.
She lays their, her wrists cut open the blade on the floor tears silently streaming down my cheek to my neck as I look over at her face. My hand gently holding her cute cheek.
I felt a lump in my throat and a feeling in my stomach like I was gonna throw up. Her face pale as a ghost, he eyes closed shut and blueish purple dry lips.
"My beautiful beautiful girl" he managed to choke out since the tears holding her face with my hands and closing my eyes leaning down to kiss her cold forehead.
