Selfish LOVE

Part 3

Their marriage was a whirlwind affair, in the sense that Mehak felt that Shamsher was the tornado that had uprooted and destroyed her life.
She was married to a man, she despised. One who had tormented her father, made their life a living hell. People mocked and gossiped about them now all because of him. And the worst thing was he claimed to love her! 'Love?' Mehak thought darkly, 'love was freedom and light, not this. Not this imprisonment, humiliation.'

She hated him, couldn't bear to even look at him. And she was also married to him.

Her mind moved in circles, trying to reconcile the dichotomy of her circumstances as she sat in the candle lit room, with red roses all around her. Roses and candles covered every inch of the room. Soft-light suffused the room making the polished wooden furniture gleam with mellow golden light. The bed had light silk cotton sheets, and someone had arranged roses in the centre too. As she sat on one side, leaning against the headboard, her wedding lehanga felt abrasive against the silky soft sheets. The beads and embroidery pulling against the threads. She wanted to cry, but the tears won't come, her chest was heavy. She wanted to throw away this wedding lehenga, she wanted to slap him and tell him exactly where he could shove his so called love. Angry tears sprung to her eyes, and she dashed them away, she would not cry, she won't ever give them the satisfaction.

Mehak knew by now that only Shamsher and his indulgent mother had accepted this marriage. His father was seething, she could see it in his eyes. If looks could kill, she would've been in a morgue not his room. She was surprised and suspicious; why Nawab Dilwar allowed this to happen was beyond her.

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When Shamsher and Mehak entered the wedding venue, his parents looked shocked. Mehak had greeted them softly, "Beta, are you alright?" Her mother in law asked looking her over.
"Yes, it was just a small accident, everything is fine"
"Accident, on the day of the wedding. That doesn't seem like a good omen for your future marriage" her future sister in law commented.
Mehak did not reply.
"Averted accident bhabhi, I think it is a sign that my wife" declared Shamsher holding her hand "is a lucky charm." He pressed a kiss on her knuckles, Mehak seethed inside. She wanted to ruin him as he had ruined her.
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Her father-in-law had not accepted this marriage, that she knew. He was cold during the ceremony and looked disgusted every time her parents approached him to make some pleasantries. Her friends and neighbours were oblivious and so they joked and teased the couple. The only happy note in an otherwise somber affair. In the end even they were grateful to leave the venue, since Shamsher's family rebuffed all attempts at familiarity and gazed contemptuously at everyone and everything. The door opened and all her thoughts fled, her mind became blank and she was scared once again.

Shamsher walked in and smiled when he saw his bride, surrounded by roses and candles. She stood when she saw him and tried to move away, but he was in front of her, " Please, sit. Please." He begged in a soft voice. Mehak lifted her eyes to stare at him, she sat in the corner of the bed, with her legs touching the carpeted floor. He took out a box and kept it between them. "This is for you. May I?" He requested, lifting his hand towards her, he gently caressed her hand, and then tied something on her wrist. Mehak raised her hand to look closely, it was a delicate golden bracelet with emeralds, diamonds and rubies interspersed in between. It looked and was probably very expensive.
"I can't accept this,"
"Please" he stopped her once again, placing his hands on top of hers.
Mehak was startled, she flinched back. He immediately removed his hand, "It's our tradition, all brides receive something from the family jewels. I selected this one for you." He looked at her, his eyes boring into hers, but Mehak's mind was somewhere else, "I didn't think your family wanted this marriage."
"Why do you say that? Has anyone said anything to you?"
"I can see their faces, nobody is happy with this, neither my family, nor yours"
"I am happy, and you will be happy too." Mehak raised an eyebrow at his assertion
"You can't force happiness, maybe marriage but not happiness in marriage."
"I don't want to force anything," he contradicted gently, "I want to make you happy."

Mehak looked away at his words, she was bitter and could feel her temper rising.
He was envisioning a happily ever after for them, either he was a great optimist or completely delusional. The way he had gone about making this marriage happen, she was leaning towards delusional.
She suddenly had an image of their future together. Shamsher will always try to bend everyone  to his whims. He was spoiled and obscenely wealthy, he doesn't understand compromise or adjustment. To him, this is normal, everyone bending backward to accommodate his whims and fancies.
She shuddered, "What happened?" Shamsher looked puzzled at her reaction.
"Nothing" she replied trying to banish this sudden insight into her strange husband.
"Will you give me a chance?" Mehak understood what he was asking, but she felt that the question was ridiculous, there was no point in asking now and she told him as much.
"You've already taken whatever you wanted, you didn't ask then. What does it matter now?"
"It matters because I haven't brought you here for some dastardly reason, because.."
"It doesn't matter" Mehak cut him off, "It doesn't matter, because I am here," she emphasised "and I didn't want to be here. You took my choice, the moment you decided to force me, when you imprisoned my father in a false case, when you forced us into hiding." She felt tears in her eyes, so she looked away. "Nothing matters anymore."
He looked agitated, he tried to move closer to her, but she walked away. Relentless, he followed, catching hold of her hands, Mehak was astonished.
"Shamsher.."
"Please, can't you give us even a chance? One chance?"
"Why are you asking this? What does it matter? You've already taken everything." She felt tired, too tired to even continue this argument.
But she also remembered her mother's words after the ceremony.
"Beta, don't let these circumstances define your marriage. Be practical, in that house you will have no one but Shamsher. Try and get along with him." She had whispered these words to Mehak as they were leaving. Mehak didn't want to leave, she had fiercely hugged her mother and tried hard not to cry.

She didn't want to worry her parents even more, she wanted a semblance of peace and respectability. They had lost a lot, and it's not like she had a choice in the matter. This bitter thought always appeared unbidden in her mind. No choice.
So she just nodded at him.
"But I need time," she added before he could be too happy. He still looked elated.