Stan Marsh Vs The World

Chapter 9

Kenny was very apologetic.

"This is why I was going to talk to you about moving out, but I guess that's not really an option since Stacy said everything fell apart on you."

Stacy nodded (she was Kenny's partner, which was even more traumatising for Stan). "Kylie's been keeping me updated, sounds like your life is falling apart around you. Just move back in with your mom, she'd love the company."

It was true, she'd finally left Stan's father and had since lived alone.

Stan sighed. "Yeah, okay. But just give me a minute to...to process everything that's happened in the last two hours."

Stacy laughed. "Fair enough, I'm hungry anyways."

"Allow me, I'll make you both something," Kenny headed for the kitchen. "This could be a good thing, Stan. I mean, you did say all those mean things so it's not like he was gonna go back to you anyway."

Hurtful, but true.

"And the whole seven evil exes, emphasis on 'evil'? They seemed to only got worse the more you go up, so in a way, you're avoiding the worst of them."

When the phone rang, Stacy picked it up. "Hello? Oh, hi...alright, hang on."

She nudged Stan with it. "For you."

Hesitantly, he took it.

"Hi, Stanley," came Wendy's voice. "I just wanted to make sure there's no hard feelings since I'm dating Kyle again, even if that's not the real reason I'm calling."

And he pretended that Kenny and Stacy were obviously listening in to this whole call, both sides.

"So," Wendy went on, "I'm actually calling to invite you to my party, in case you want to support your friends celebrating their deal. And if you want to say hi to Kyle...I can allow that."

With a laugh, she hung up.

Stacy rolled her eyes. "Yeah, Kylie said she'd do something like that. She's a controlling one, that's why she's the worst. You know she's the one who arranged the Evil Exes Club and sent them all after you? I guess it was part of her plan to get Kyle back."

"Well, if that's the case," Kenny said, "then Stan? You should go to that party and kick her ass, I'm serious. Finish her for what she did to you, Stanley."

...

It took four encounters with security which included four random password guesses which actually worked before Stan was in the same room as Wendy.

On one side of the room was Sex Bob-Omb setting up to play.

Kendra sighed when she saw him. "Stan, I'm sorry if this has upset you, but you were never too serious about the band anyway! I only asked you to join because I felt bad for you, I told you that when you joined!"

"We appreciate you coming, but you are definitely not getting back in!" Red joined in.

Stan waved them off. "I'm here for something else, don't worry."

He was more focussed on the other side of the room, where Wendy sat upon her throne.

And by her feet sat Kyle.

She grinned when she saw him at the bottom of the steps. "Hey, Stan! I see you've decided to come after all. A bit early because the band hasn't started yet, but hi!"

"I'm not here for them, Wendy, I'm here for you. To fight the last of the seven evil exes."

She laughed. "Wow...you know you did lose in the end without even fighting me? It's quite funny honestly, I'm sorry, I actually am sorry.  But just tell me, are you doing this because you're stupid? Or is there something else, Stanley?"

"Yeah...I'm in love with him," Stan confessed, "I fell in love with Kyle. And you stole him from me, because you're a bad person, so I'm going to fight you because I love him."

With this, he gained the sword of love which he then used to fight Wendy.

Sex Bob-Omb started playing when they realised a fight was about to begin.

She was the toughest of the exes to fight, of course, but Stan overpowered her and she fell to the bottom of her throne.

He faced Kyle. "I'm sorry for everything that I said, I'm an absolute idiot and I don't know why I said all that sh*t. But I know that I love you, and losing you was the worst mistake I've ever made."

Kyle nodded, and gave him a small smile. "It's nice to get an apology, at least."

The moment does not last long as Bebe comes out of nowhere with a yell of "I've got you now, boyfriend stealer!"

Stan managed to block her attack at least, but it meant he finally had to come clean.

"Bebe, you shouldn't be mad at Kyle, you should be mad at me!"

When she still wouldn't stop trying to escape his grasp, he busted this out:

"Bebe, I'm gay! I was never interested in you!"

And that was what got her to stop. "Wait, what did you just say?"

Stan sighed. "I'm gay, and when you asked me out I said yes because I didn't want to be out yet because I was a coward. And I met Kyle while I was dating you, so I cheated on both of you. And I know I'm a shitty person, and I'm really sorry."

Bebe was frozen for a good minute, and then...

"Huh, that was why you didn't seem to like kissing me."

It got a laugh out of Kyle. "I forgive you, Stan, I get it. But I can't take you back, it's not quite that simple-"

Wendy interrupted by thrusting her sword right through Stan's chest, earning gasps from Kyle and Bebe as he fell to the floor.

He'd been defeated by the seventh evil ex.