Things I Ruined for Fun

01

"He likes you so much that he's willing to skip his class for you when he found out you're having a fever!" halos natatawang sabi ni Patrice sa akin.

I wasn't able to attend the classes on Friday last week because I had a fever. Biglaan iyon pero hindi naman ako nagtaka dahil alam kong nabasa rin ako ng ulan habang pauwi no'n.

Napanguso ako. I don't know what to say to her. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang dapat na maging reaksyon ko roon. I'm just not used to knowing a bit about a person who they think likes me.

"I know Celvin. Masyadong caring lang ang taong 'yon. You don't have to put meanings on the things he does,"

Umiling si Denisha sa akin. "Girl!" She exclaimed. "Hindi ko alam kung manhid ka o ayaw mo sa taong 'yon o kung ayaw mong i-entertain ang mga bagay na ganiyan." napairap siya nang tuluyan bago tumigil sa sinasabi at napatulala na lang sa akin.

"True!" Patrice agreed.

"Hindi sa ayaw ko kay Celvin." Napa-buntong-hininga ako. "I like him...but only as a friend. He's always been the nicest person I've ever known! Kung totoo man ang sinasabi niyo, hindi ko alam."

"OMG! Baka naman may iba kang crush kaya hindi mo magawang pansinin ang feelings ni Celvin sa 'yo?" si Denisha na napahawak na sa bibig niya at namimilog ang mga matang nakatanaw sa akin.

Napakunot ang noo ko roon at matuling tumakbo ang dibdib sa kabang idinulot ng tanong niya sa akin.

"Wala!"

It's a lie.

"Wala akong crush!"

I panicked. It was...still...a lie.

Napalunok ako at nag-iwas ng tingin.

"Hmm, namumula nga ang pisngi mo, e." Panunukso ni Patrice. "Ikaw ha! Sino naman 'yon? Ayaw mong i-share?"

Mahinang hinampas ni Denisha ang braso ni Patrice. "Ano ka ba naman! Hindi niya talaga magagawang i-share 'yon, 'no?" umirap siya bago iyon sundan ng tawa.

Umiling na lang ako at tinuon ang atensyon sa librong hawak ko. Napabuga ako ng hininga dahil para akong mahihirapang gawin 'yon. Bigla yatang bumigat ang dibdib ko.

I've been into this guy since last year. Nakilala ko lang dahil kaibigan din siya ng isa sa mga kaibigan ko from other section. Ewan ko ba. He's also like the coldest person I have ever known! Hindi ko nga alam kung ngumingiti o tumatawa ba 'yon dahil hindi ko siya nahuhuling gawin 'yon. He's just always in his serious face. But he's a cool and nice guy, I think. It was just an impression. Hindi ko rin alam kung paano at kung bakit ko siya nagustuhan.

"Hindi ka na namin kukulitin sa crush mo na 'yan." Tumawa si Patrice. "I know for sure na magugustuhan ka rin agad no'n dahil you're good. Maganda ka, matalino, at nasa iyo naman ang lahat."

Umiling ako. I don't know how to react. Nagkibit-balikat na lang ako at nanahimik.

With what Patrice stated, I don't want to assume or to set my hopes high when it comes to someone I like. As for me, feelings do change and they were never really permanent. I know that, for sure, the time will come and my feelings for someone will soon be dead. It will disappear. It won't stay that long that it would make me be a single woman waiting for him! It's not gonna last. Baka nga bukas wala na akong feelings do'n.

My phone started to vibrate as the screen says Willian's calling. I excused myself to my friends and picked the phone up. I stood up and went a bit away from them before answering the call.

"Willian, what's up?"

"What's up, huh? Baka may nakakalimutan ka."

Agad na napakunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niyang iyon. With confusion in mind, I tried to think of something that I might forget.