The Men Next Door

Ch 39 - Campbell

Brooks looked like he'd rather be anywhere but there, in my apartment, having a conversation about Vera — and that made two of us.

Why did I let Luca talk me into opening the door?

Maybe I should've only let him in. He would've lightened the mood, like always, and he probably would've talked me out of running all the same. I could've calmed down and regrouped before spilling my last batch of secrets. Maybe I would've even drank some damn water and waited until the sun came up to start crying again. But what I said when I broke up with Luca was true — he made me forget about the tough shit, while Brooks made me face it — and I always knew that Vera was a piece of me I'd have to confront.

I just wished I could've done it on my own terms. After a breakdown like this, it felt like telling JoJo all over again.

"Cam," Brooks sighed after I'd stared at the floor for a little too long, thinking through all the 'what ifs.' "I know you're struggling, okay? And I'm sorry for raising my voice. But I don't have the energy to dig this out of you right now. You need to start talking."

I swallowed down my nerves, pulling my knees closer to my chest. "I don't know where to start."

He took a deep breath, then blew it out slowly. Too slowly, almost — like if he made any sudden movements, he might just explode. "Start at the beginning. How'd you meet her?"

"We sat beside each other in a class. My first week at UF."

Brooks signaled for me to continue with a curt nod.

"She asked for my number a few weeks later. We'd already been grabbing coffee after class, and going on these little walks around campus, and, well, talking a lot. She was always easy to talk to. So I didn't think anything of it.

"But then she called me one night, asking if I wanted to go to dinner with her and a couple other friends, and I thought... I don't know, it sounds so stupid now, but I thought it was going to be... a normal, friendly hangout."

He quirked an eyebrow. "But she thought it was a date?"

I nodded, pressing a finger against my wrist. My pulse was pounding harder and harder as I got closer to the point, but something about touching the rhythmic beats helped me feel a little more grounded. "She'd been super flirty. It should've been obvious. But with the way my mom was growing up, I wasn't used to having close friends, and I guess I just thought she was... affectionate?"

Brooks rolled his shoulders, letting go of some of the tension he was holding there, and made his way over to my couch. When he sat down, I nearly stood up to join him, but the cardboard boxes in between us felt like a mountain I'd never be able to summit. It didn't matter that I'd built it in a matter of hours. Scaling it was going to take much longer.

And that was if he decided to wait for me on the other side.

"What happened at the restaurant?" he asked, leaning back against the armrest casually. Like he was fine all of the sudden. How was he fine, when I was still pinned to the mental foothill, struggling to take another step?

"The other couple, um... couldn't keep their hands off each other. So when Vera grabbed my hand under the table, it seemed pretty tame. Except it suddenly had all this meaning, and I felt... well, I was surprised to feel... I didn't expect to..." I trailed off, shaking my head and focusing on the kitchen tile once again.

"Campbell," Brooks said. "Look at me." His tone held an air of authority, and my eyes snapped back up to him like he'd just cast a spell. "I'm trying to understand why your mom used Vera to hurt you, and why it worked so well that you decided to leave me. That's all. I'm not judging you. I'm never judging you. You know that, right?"