THROUGH THE CHAOS

Faith of Satheia

Smile, stay composed. Don't make any wrong move, applaud your pleasing personality. Never make a mistake, they might hate you.

Sathea Maie Rivera, 18. No other introductory, just a mirror ball.

I'm Thea, a girl whose life was once entangled in an expected construct made by society. From a young age, I called myself the "mirror ball"–a name that reflected my role as a people pleaser. I longed to be accepted, to avoid making mistakes that might tarnish my image in the eyes of those people around me. Fear became my constant companion, the drive that guided my every move.

As I grew up, I tiptoed through life, careful not to rumple any feathers. I molded myself into the shape that others expected, always seeking their approval. My actions were dictated by the desire to fit into the mold society had crafted for me. I always wanted to dance along with the dizzy lights of my own but ended up following what others should see in me. I was afraid to be different, to showcase my true self, for fear of rejection and disappointment.

But as time flew by, I began to question the path I was treading. I realized that living to please others was an injustice to myself. The mirror ball image I had adopted was a facade that concealed my true identity. It was time to break free from the chains of societal expectations, unlock the cage of judgments, and discover who I truly was.

A pivotal moment arrived one breezy evening as I sat on a weathered wooden bench beneath a sky ablaze with stars. Stars are undoubtedly my favorite astronomical object. I couldn't explain how mesmerized I was every time I looked at them, then realization bumped into me. The concept of stars is what I need to know. Their dazzling beauty reminded me that we are all unique, each shining with our own light. It was at that moment that I made a choice–a choice to embrace my individuality, to let go of the fear that held me captive.

With the determination I found, I embarked on a journey of discovering my inner self and venturing into the realness of my mind and soul. I sought solace in the pages of books that whispered tales of courage and acceptance to oneself. I surrounded myself with people who celebrated authenticity and encouraged growth. Their unfaltering support became the fuel that propelled me forward, the wind beneath my wings. They watered the withered petals of myself.

Through the trials and afflictions that life presented, I learned the power of compassion. I discovered that mistakes were not to be feared but embraced as stepping stones towards growth. I embraced my flaws and imperfections, understanding that they were a crucial aspect of my journey. Self-compassion became my lighthouse, gently nudging me toward self-acceptance.

As I shed the layers of conformity, I began to emit my sense of authenticity. The mirror ball shattered, transforming into a kaleidoscope of colors that reflected the myriad facets of my true self. No longer bound by the expectations of others, I danced to the rhythm of my own heart, and sang to the notes of my happiness, unapologetically embracing the person I was meant to become.

Through compassion, I became aware of the power to forgive not only others but also myself. The grudges that once weighed me down were replaced with understanding and empathy. I realized that we are all flawed beings, navigating life's intricate tapestry. Forgiveness became a cure that healed wounds and fixed broken hearts, allowing me to move forward with grace and integrity.

With each passing day, I grew more comfortable with myself. The fear that once held me captive no longer had a grip on my soul. I found solace in the knowledge that being true to myself was far more important than seeking the approval of others. Thea, the girl who was once a mirror ball, had blossomed into a crest of authenticity and self-compassion.

My journey taught me that faith is not solely reserved for religious beliefs but also resides within our own hearts. It is the unwavering trust we place in ourselves, the belief that we are enough just as we are. Faith is the guiding force that allows us to travel through life's uncertainties with resilience and grace. No matter how rough the road is, you are still deserving to reach the destination of your trip to self-discovery.

As I reflect upon my change and transformation to what I truly am, I am grateful for the lessons learned and the person I have become. Thea, the girl once regarded as a mirror ball, now stands tall in her identity, shining brightly with authenticity and self-compassion, brave enough to light the darkness within her. My faith, rooted in the depths of my being, continues to guide me on a path of growth, reminding me to embrace the beautiful imperfections that make me who I am.

Sathea Maie Rivera, 25. No other closing testaments, just a woman of her own, dancing below the mirrorball who once defined her, already become who she was always meant to be.