Worlds of Cray: Lami Nye Si Heart

Chapter 2: Last Dream

"Congratulations! You're officially a father" the midwife greets the man in black while she reach out the child to him. "She's so beautiful just like her mother" said the man in black. "She's the product of our love, so I will use the first letter of her mother's name and the last two letters of mine as her name. She will be Eve". The man in black turned around and stared at me. I saw his face.

I suddenly woke up, shocked with the face I saw in my dream. Today's dream is not like any other dreams I had. I started to cry and tremble. I remembered how I miss my father and mother. Today's dream, I'm sure that I'm the baby. The man in black is my father, Dave. And the mother of the baby is my mother, Elsa.

I remembered how my mother used to complain about my father being unfair with the number of letters taken for my name. It was so much fun listening to their argument and reasoning - they are not really fighting about it, just an argument for fun. My father would give an excuse like 'You should be grateful you get the first letter' or something like 'Imagine what our daughter's name will be if 2 letters are taken from both of us'. And yes, I am thankful my name is not Elve.

How I missed my parents. But just to be clear, they are not yet dead. They are alive and well in our farm in Ireland where I was born. I have always dreamt of becoming a singer in an opera one day, to be a star, to be popular. I thought that coming here in New York will help me in realize my wishes and dreams. I left home bragging about my dreams and wanting to be independent and liberated.

I haven't seen them for almost a decade. But I do send post cards to them, and regularly receiving a letter from them too. Sometimes I wished I didn't yell at my mother when I was leaving - we had a fight over the things I want, the dreams I want to pursue.

Through writing I have asked for her forgiveness, and she sent a "You are forgiven, please come back home." letter. But I did not respond. I can't show myself to them until I have realized my dreams. But it's been several years, I am still a club singer with a local band. I don't think I'll ever achieve my dreams. That's why I am ashamed to get back home. Afraid to be told I told you so.

All these thoughts flashed as if I was being reminded of all my regrets, failures and faults. Today is my 27th birthday. But why am I having these thoughts? As if the pressure bottled up and it collapsed. Simultaneous negative thoughts crushed down on me.

I heard a guitar below me playing 'Happy Birthday to You', I recognize the voice, and it's my boyfriend. I came to my senses - as if I've been knocked out and just recovered my consciousness. I look down to search for the sound. I was shocked to see Michael on my door, playing his guitar, and I am standing with one feet planted at the edge of the rooftop and my other feet was now on the air - as if I am walking. I have gained consciousness just before I fall, but it's too late. My center of gravity is now against the air. And even worse, the wind is blowing pretty strong. The split seconds felt like seconds at that moment where I was trying to stop my fall. But it's really too late. I am now falling from the rooftop that's 4 story tall.

"Michael!" I shouted out to him. He looked up and saw me falling.

"Eve! No!" he hastily shouted and started walking backwards to try to catch me. I can see everything in slow motion, every moment, flashes of moments, and my boyfriend is now on the high way as he was trying to catch me. I saw a car from his left. I shouted "watch out for the c ..." before I could say it, my boyfriend got hit by the car.

"See you again Eve" a whisper, the same voice as this dawn.

Just before I could even be bothered by that, and to cry for my boyfriend's death, the concrete floor is in front of me.