And Then... They Fell

CHAPTER THIRTY

Asher 

Damn she has an arm on her. I definably didn't expect to wake up to a full on slap in the face but then again nothing has really gone as expected since I have met Lilly. Some things have been for the worst since we meant but I can't say I regret it because for all the bad there has been so much good, kindness, adventure, and wonder. I don't think I will ever be able to live another minute in my everyday life without hoping for this. Hoping and wishing to be a part of what Lilly has made of her life and what she cultivates every day. Wishing I could abandon all else and just be with her. 

Wishing I could be a normal guy instead of a king so I could be with the woman I have come to love. 

I scratch the back of my neck when I realize how stupid it is to think something like that. I can't love her, I barely know her. I think that's what makes me love her more, though, is how unpredictable she is with the things she does and yet so predictable with the person she is and the values she holds. I love it. I love her. 

I know I am being a soppy lovestruck fool but damn this girl!

I scratch my neck again and spare a glance in her direction. Lilly looks back at me when she feels my eyes and offers a small smile before turning back to the view in front of her. 

We packed up pretty quick after the incidence this morning (not to be mistaken with the instance from the morning before) and started walking, yet again. We have been walking for a few days but it seems everyone is a little slower this morning. I don't think any of us want our trip to be over. I hadn't given it much thought until now but this will very likely be my last day with Lilly. Harry would be at the border tomorrow morning with a horse to bring me back to the palace, leaving Lilly and Charlie behind and hopefully safe. 

My heart deflates at the thought and hurts more than I knew possible. I can't do it. I can't leave her and hope for her safety, I just can't. I don't know if I am using her safety as an excuse but I know one thing: I can't leave her and I won't. I don't know how but I have to keep her safe, and hopefully I will be able to keep her in my life at the same time. 

David 

I can't stop looking at her. She has changed so much since the last time I saw her. Her hair is darker, eyes brighter, face sharper, and will stronger. She has always been beautiful but she has changed from someone I thought I knew to someone so much stronger and I can't stop looking at who she has become. 

Asher and I had a tough conversation last night and we agreed to leave everything up to Lil because she deserved the space if that's what she wanted but in the light of day I can't understand what lead me to agree. Lilly has always been and will always be everything to me and I know her. I know she won't pick either of us because she is to focused on Charlie and as much as I respect that, I can't sit by and watch as she lets her life pass her by. I know I'm not everything she needs and maybe not even what she wants but I love her more than anyone should love a person. 

My eyes drift from Lilly's to Asher's as I think of the night before and when our eyes meet I know he is thinking the same thing: We overestimated ourselves with the promise of yesterday. I give him a small nod and he does the same. Our silent conversation letting the other know we are both in this. We are both in this for Lilly. Let the best man win. 

Lilly

Something's changed. Both David and Asher have been glancing at me and each other nonstop. At first I thought I was being vain and imagining things but then I started counting and between the two of them they looked at me eleven times in two minutes. Then I wondered if they always looked at me this much, I had just never noticed but that was nixed quickly because I would have definitely noticed something this frequent. 

I wish I was, but I can't say I hate the looks. Maybe I am just seeing what I want too but Asher's has been looking at me with a mix of longing and determination. David's looks hold adoration and resolution. Both looks seem to hold a fragment of love behind there eyes too. 

Lilly, you aren't looking at what's actually there, you are seeing what you want. Do not get the two confused. 

I shake the thoughts from my head and force myself to ignore the looks. 

We have been walking for quite a while, again today, but when we reach the outskirts of the city we stop and have what I assume to be our last meal together. The fact that we are parting ways is on all of our minds as we sit silently together, all seeming to be lost in our thoughts. After a while I can't take it anymore, I can't take the tension that has seeped into our presence; Even Charlie seems to feel it. 

"So, what's the plan?" I finally break the silence and ask, my question pointed at Asher. 

Asher reaches to scratch the back of his neck. I pick up on his nervous habit and my stomach fills with nerves. 

"Um, I don't know actually. I have a few people we could talk too but I don't really know how to go about it because they can't see Charlie's eyes. I have been thinking about it a lot and I think there is only a few options here."