Gaming Instructions Before Leaving Earth (The Gible)

(Sega) Genesis

In the beginning there was one. A single entity born out of the massive unbalance of the universe. Born with a single purpose in life. To create a world of professional gamers. This single entity was known as MLG. He soon found the space around him to be quite boring. MLG thought to himself: How do I make this place more interesting?

Then, using the power of the mighty Sega Genesis, MLG created the heavens and the hells. The heavens was a place of where pure Gamers would rest after their death on earth. The heavens were comprised of seven stages. These seven stages was where you would stay depending on what tribe you were born into. He created the heavens on top of a single Dorito chip and Mountain Dew fountains and rivers encircled the place. He added a forest of Mom's Spaghetti, and it was complete. MLG saw what he had created and it was good.

Then MLG worked on VACBAN. This was the place were those who disobeyed MLG's wishes would remain. There was no level of VACBAN. It was a sea of fire where those who disobeyed MLG bodies would fuel. It was guarded by Bill Cipher, a triangular dream demon who, despite his title, is the cause of your nightmares.

MLG stated "There is only one rule in your life, that is to follow my orders, those who do not obey mine orders shall find themselves being the fuel of VACBAN'S fire."

MLG saw what he had created and it was good.

MLG then created a world which reflected his time alone in space, a world of nothingness. He then created the skies, and the sea's, the land and planets. He called this place Earth. This was the place his followers would stay.

Then MLG decided to create a servant, a person with almost the same amount of power as MLG himself possessed. He created a being of pure goodness, a being who listened to all of MLG's commands, created from the liquid of the holy Mountain Dew. This almost God-Like being was named "Lord GabeN." GabeN only had one fault, and that was the number three was not in his vocabulary. MLG sought a task to Lord GabeN. That task was to create leaders of 7 tribes. These seven tribes were the seven to make its way into heaven.

Lord Gaben decided to create each one of these tribes with a a piece of MLG's Dorito chip. So Lord GabeN took a piece of the MLG Dorito chip and broke it into 7 pieces. He then scattered it all over Earth.

Each piece was placed fell to earth, and became the continents, and on each rich and fertile land soon devloped, on the chosen tribes would soon inhabit and build villages and cities.

One such tribe was the furry tribe, a simple animal-loving people who dwelt in Africa. They made their tents out of straw and thicket, and drank from the watering hole. They drew fanart on the walls of caves and on the ground, and followed the ways of MLG and Lord GabeN. They went to conventions by day and watched mighty yiff by night. Their leader was a furry nobleman named Felix, who donned his fursuit garb with pride, and taught the ways of MLG and GabeN to the cubs of the tribe, and taught them how to draw fanart. Felix was blessed, with the power of the mineral from the earth, the one known as 'Sodium Chloride'.

In North America dwelt a tribe looked down upon by the others. 'Twas the Chav tribe, a tribe once noble, their leader Ashir twice converted. They drank mountain dew that fell from heaven, and they drank greedily and disgustingly. They were bearers of little class, donning the GAP tracksuits and fake huaraches. They did not live in houses, nay, they were too uncivilised, they walked from the day they were born to the day their fake huaraches were placed over their grave, as per tradition. They were such a filthy and incapable people that they lacked the cognitive power to even draw fanart. They mated in large groups, eating the food they hunted in a large communal feast, primarily hens and cockerels they referred to only as 'Going down for a cheeky Nandos with me fam and famettes'.