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Jackson, MS
A couple of days later
At Syx's House

Syx Jay Frazier

I took another sip of my 2nd drink of the day.

I looked around and noticed Lex was still laying in my bed. I moved my attention away from her when I felt myself starting to think of Kemari again.

I tried my hardest not to think about that girl and it never worked.

I hate to say it but I miss her.

I might still be in love with her

And I don't want to be.

I ended things after our child died. I didn't want to leave her but I had to. I know that if she stayed in a relationship with me, people would continue to come after her and I didn't want that.

"Syx" Lex waved her hand in my face.

"What?" I asked in annoyance.

"I have to go" she told me.

I shrugged while she stared at me. Her eyes eventually dropped down to the drink in my hand.

I sucked my teeth because I can tell she had something on her mind. "What's wrong Lex?"

"Are you drinking lean again?" She held a worried expression on her face.

"Stay out of my business"

"Syx you know that shit isn't good for you. You can die if you drink too much of it." She gave me a look of concern.

I huffed. "I know that Lex and I don't give a fuck no more"

"You need to stop sipping lean Syx and I'm dead ass serious. It'll fuck you up and I don't want to lose you."

I turned my head away from her to avoid her glare.

I know she's right but I just don't care. When I'm drinking lean, it is my only way to escape reality.

Truth be told, Lex was just my 'distraction'. She's a chill, cool girl but we only fuck here and there. Lex knows that I don't want to take things further with her and neither does she with me. I'm using her as an outlet and she's using me to let off steam. That's just how things are between us.

"I hear you Lex" I mumbled and ran my hand over my face.

She simply let out a sigh then left my room. A few minutes later, I heard the front door slam.

I got up and started to clean around the house.

Ever since I got shot, I moved houses. Mainly because it almost got shot up but I also messed up the inside of it.

After I got out the hospital, I broke down and destroyed everything in my sight. I punched holes in the wall, threw my tv on the ground, broke chairs, ruined the entire nursery, and more. Losing my son and the love of my life had truly broke me.

After I broke up with Kemari it seemed like my whole world was over. I never felt like that before. It was weird and a feeling I didn't want to feel again.

"AYE NIGGA" I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Tiz yell from downstairs. "WHERE YOU AT FOOL?"

I groaned, threw my head back, and deeply exhaled. I'm not in the mood to deal with these niglets.

"UPSTAIRS" I yelled back.

I heard multiple footsteps making their way up then Tiz, Sin, and Zina came into my view.

"What's up bitch" Tiz raised his hand to dap me up but I flipped him off.

"Hey" I side hugged Zina then I dapped up Sin.

"I love y'all, but why are you fuckers here?" I gave my attention back to cleaning.

"We came to check up on you." Sin told me.

I appreciated the love my friends showed me. These people are more like family to me. I love them, truly, but I want them to leave me the fuck alone sometimes.

"I'm fine y'all" I mumbled as I picked up some empty bottles.

"You lying like hell but alright" Tiz chuckled. He started eating from a bag of Doritos that popped out of nowhere.

"Did you take that from my kitchen?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Duh" he shrugged. "Free snacks"

"Fat ass" I mumbled as I threw some more trash away.

Once I stood up, I looked at Sin who was admiring Zina with a smile on his face. Zina turned to him and instantly blushed. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he peppered kisses all over her face.

It's crazy how these toxic motherfuckers have been together for almost 4 years.

I turned my ahead away because I can feel myself start to think about Kemari for the second time today.

"Oh, one of Dante's boys tried to rob me the other day" I brought up another topic

"What did you do?" Sin asked me as he brought Zina closer to him.

"Killed him" I stated the obvious.

After the night I was shot, I went on the hunt for Dante. He was being a little bitch and went into hiding. To this day, I still can't find him. He likes to switch up his spots to keep me on my toes. On top of that, Dante hired other people to take me out. He killed my baby, who wasn't even born yet, and tried to kill my girl but doesn't have the balls to kill me himself?

A true definition of a pussy.

He's the reason why I no longer have Kemari nor Khalan.

"Xavier is hosting family dinner this weekend." Zina decided to change the subject for the sake of her comfort. "Are you going to show up this time?" She narrowed her eyes on me.

"No." I said bluntly.

"Come on Syx" Zina threw her head back and groaned. "We know it's going to be awkward but you haven't been to a family dinner in weeks"

"You already know the reason why Z, don't play stupid" I looked at her like she was dumb.

The 4 year anniversary was this week and I've been dodging the family.

Me and Kemari still talked for about 2 years after that night as friends, even though we were fucking on the side. We spent the first two anniversaries crying at Khalan's grave together. I stopped speaking to her when she started dating Armon. Of course I was jealous as fuck, I was still in love with her. I was also mad that Armon was the dude she decided to move on with.

I know for a fact that Armon still ain't shit. I saw him cheating with some slim light skin girl last month. Kemari is a smart girl, she'll find out soon.

But if I find out that he hurt her, I'll kill that nigga with just my hands. I've been waiting for a long ass time, all I need is the green light.

"Oh yea, happy anniversary nigga" Tiz spoke up.

The room went quiet as we all looked at him in annoyance.

Tiz and Shamaree will always be my favorite characters😭

Anyway y'all need to put me onto some good tv shows. I basically have all the biggest streaming services and there's nothing good to watch😕

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