Chapter 3
I lost all of my strength that even when I heard an approaching footsteps, I didn't move. I can't move.
Just after a few seconds, I saw Mrs. Dancel walking in a rush. Tears were falling from her eyes. She's crying. And in the midst of walking out, she saw me leaning against the wall. I expected her to be surprised but then, she didn't seem to mind it. Instead, she looks like in so much pain and fear.
Matapos ang saglit na pagkatitigan, mabilis niyang pinunasan ang kaniyang mga luha at pilit inayos ang sarili bago tuluyang makaalis sa lugar.
My head was full of questions. Iniisip ko pa ang ang narinig na usapan ay sumasakit na ang ulo ko. It hurt so much that I had to pull my hair just so I could divert the pain and leave the negative thoughts unentertained.
Halos mapaupo ako sa may gilid. Hindi na kaya ang labis a pananakit ng ulo dulot ng maraming ideyang pilit sumasakop sa utak ko.
"Had enough of your eavesdropping?" I heard a mocking voice. "O kulang pa?"
My lips trembled as I look up at her. Her eyes were dark, telling me to just shut my mouth off dahil hanggang ngayon ay galit pa rin siya sa akin.
"Ano'ng kinalaman ni Mrs. Dancel—"
Hindi ko pa man natatapos ang sasabihin ay pinutol na niya ako sa isang agresibong paraan.
"Stop asking as if you care!" she hissed. "Kahit na ano pang malaman mo ngayon, hinding-hindi na maibabalik pa ang matagal nang nasira't natapos!"
I winced when a memory passed through after what she said. "Christine, please. I need to know... I-I've been suffering because of what happened—"
She cut me off again. "You deserve what you are going through right now," she said mercilessly that I had to bite my lips to stop them from trembling. "Don't even try finding someone you could put the blame into because everything turned that way, became worst, because of you!"
I shook my head, unable to deny it because a part of me also think that way. But I know deep within me that it was never been my intention. I want to know what really happened and how the hell did Mrs. Dancel got involved.
I want to be freed from the past. From the guilt that kept me tangled for years. From the nightmares that keeps on hunting me at night.
"No matter what happens. No matter what you find out now and do, it'll all be useless and won't change anything now." She said and locked my eyes with hers. "The blame is on you, Charise Jamilla Sibaton."
I didn't know how I managed to go back to our room after that encounter. Tinanong nila kung saan ako galing at kung bakit ako latre sa period na iyon ngunit wala akong naisagot ni isa. I kept silent and prayed for the time to run faster.
I wanna go home. I need my medicine.
"How's school?"
Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa aking kubyertos matapos itanong iyon ni Mommy. She's all smiles while looking at me.
I tried to fake a smile. "Okay naman, po."
Tumango siya. "Having a hard time? Kailan ba raw ang graduation niyo?"
"Sa April pa, po, tho hindi pa sinasabi ang exact date. Iyong research na lang po namin sa 3i's ang tinatapos namin saka idedefend,"
"Hmm... so you'll be very busy this week, huh?"
"Parang gano'n na nga, po, Mommy. Bakit?"
Hindi ko na napigilan ang pagtatanong dahil napapansin kong may gusto talaga siyang sabihin.
