JACKBOX X ANY GENDER READER (joke fic)

[CHAPTER FOUR] Two Trucks

(A/N: YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONE!?!? NO BITCH, I'M BACK!!!)

It was some time after the spicy events of your night with Jack. You were staring at the ceiling, blushing, as you reflected on all the fun you had. You even got his number, and were eager to call him. But no, Jack's probably busy now, you thought to yourself. Best not to disturb such a hardworking, busy, sexy man.

If only he had come over to your house... You longed for his embrace. Cuddling your pillow, you frowned. You reached for your phone to dial Jack's contact (named "Daddy Jack"), but hesitated. Before reaching for it once more, you were interrupted by your ringtone. It's your favorite Lemon Demon song. TWO TRUCKS HAVING-

You answered the call.

"Hello?" You jumped when you heard that familiar—not to mention hot—voice, screaming into the phone.

"Y/N! THERE'S NO TIME! I need you! Come here, QUICK!" His voice was panicked.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit- you thought, grabbing your keys. You were trembling with fear as you rushed to your car. As you drove, you were struck with a realization. "Where am I even going..?" Your question was immediately answered, because it didn't take long for you to see chaotic commotion before your eyes. 

You leaped out of the car, slamming the door. Your heart skipped a beat. "J-Jack..?"

From what you could pick up of the scene, two trucks had been recklessly having sex on the streets and ran into Jack. He was hit by a vehicle once more, but very unfortunate this time. People gathered around, nervously chattering amongst themselves as Jack's broken, bloody figure rested in the middle of the street. News reporters interrogated him about the experience of getting crushed by trucks that were literally fucking, but all Jack wanted was for them to leave him be. 

He spotted you amongst the crowd. "Y/N..." he weakly attempted to call out to you. 

"JACK!" you cried. "YOU DIDN'T DESERVE THIS, BROSKI!"

"No, I obviously didn't," he breathlessly wheezed out. "I'm Jack. From Jack In The Box."

"Well," you sniffled, wiping away a tear. "At least you jacked in my box."

"I'm so cold." Jack shivered.

"Get a blanket then," you scoffed. Nearby, the two trucks continued to bang. You turned to the trucks, shaking your fist. "I HATE YOU, FUCKING TRUCKS!"

Jack coughed. "I think I see the light."

"The sun's in your eyes?" you asked. "Sorry, I don't have sunglasses."

"No, I..." Jack frowned. "I don't think I'll make it."

You gasped. "Don't say that!"

News reporters were discussing the situation on the sidelines, until they heard you. The cameraman turned and zoomed in to you and Jack.

Your tears fell to Jack's chest. He slowly closed his eyes. You gently put your hand against his face's cheek. (And his other cheek if you want to~ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) "Open your eyes, Jack, please." 

Jack kept his eyes closed. The cameraman stepped closer. You snapped around and flipped the bird at him.

"Please, homie. Wake the hell up." You smooched him on the lips aggressively. No response. Your jaw dropped, and you smooched him more, multiple times now. "Why isn't this working, man!?"

Jack stopped breathing. He was dead.

Or was he?

From the shadows—behind some cars in the parking lot—emerged some wrinkly old lady who appeared to be wearing wizard cosplay. 

"Grab his corpse and come with me, sweetie. I believe I may have a solution to revive him."