My world

chapter 20

Listen to this masterpiece. This song is in my native language Telugu. I love this song. If you don't want to listen. Just skip it.

Mew's pov

I was in kitchen when Gulf called me to inform that ,his shooting in chiang Mai is completed and he is returning to bangkok in three hours.

My world had crumbled down just like the palace made by deck of cards.

Now I'm infront of him in the parking lot of airport, panting and gasping for air. My clothes are drenched by Sweat. I had parked my car on another end of the parking lot from where he is and ran to search him.

Phi !!!

I pulled him into an hug. There are many questions running in my head.
Can I live without him ?
Can I go back to my normal life where I just work, cook and attend cooking competitions ? Can I be happy without him ? Can I forget him ? Can I move on ? Can I stop him ? Can I embrace him like this forever ? Can I have him as my lover ?

But every question had stopped at the same answer just like every boat that sail into the ocean reaches the shore in the end.

The answer would be letting him go to have his life. I can't be selfish, I can't allow him to suffer by stopping him to be with me. I don't even know if he loves me or not !!

Does he loves me ? Or does he not ?

I thought he is easy to read. But no !! It is very difficult. Those Bambi eyes conveys many emotions which make me clueless about his real feelings.

I can see the love in his eyes when he looks into mine.
I can see the affection in those orbs when he stares at me while I sit idle or do something very normal.
I can see he cares about me even though he covers it with mocking ness and sarcasm.

But still he choose to leave me behind. If I can't consider those actions as love then what can I ?

I freed him and covered my sadness and tears with a smile. I know it doesn't reached my eyes.

I grabbed his palms in my both hands and stared into his brown eyes. I tried to give the best smile, which I can. But it turned out to be the saddest smile I ever gave.

I took a deep breath to control the tsunami of emotions which are in my heart burning like lava. I think this would be the last chance to me to meet him this close. Because he would be busy with his schedule and with por. Can I still call him as por ? I think I can't !

I would be one of his fan who was once an stranger , a enemy, a friend, an bestfriend to him.

I would be one in those million people who wished that he can be in our lives as a special one. Yes, he would be one in our lives but we won't be one in his !!

Now i'm his fan with memories of him . Where we mocked eachother, thrown punches on eachother faces ,being jerks to eachother, taking care of eachother, comforting eachother with those warm embraces, staring to eachother orbs until one becomes flustered and turns away and the memory of how we tease eachother.

I would miss his lips on my cheeks as an reward when I make him happy Or a kiss to melt me when I'm sulking on him. Even though I know I can't be angry for a long time on him. I would miss the fierce kitten who would smack the head of mild whenever he teases us. I would miss every inch of his body and Soul. I would miss him.