DAYDREAM → PAUL LAHOTE

° 51

Paul Lahote's POV

Good god, she's breathtaking. She came to the cafeteria with that best friend of hers again. She wouldn't meet my eyes, she's probably mad at me.

I mean, I wouldn't blame her cause I dumped her but I didn't mean to. Will I still get her back? I hope I do because I don't know what I do if I didn't. She's my everything.

I love Astraea but it's dangerous to get close enough to her cause I just phased. Sam said I shouldn't.

-

What is she doing here? She doesn't like going to a party. they probably forced her to come with them. I look down at her, her beauty is just mesmerizing, always making me smirk. I'm such an asshole for letting go of her.

Zia kissed me, but I didn't kiss back. Astraea is here for a godsake. I pushed her away but not hard enough, just to make it look like she just wanted to give me a peck. Astraea would be mad, I have to work hard for her forgiveness.

-

I fucked up, real bad. She wouldn't forgive me. Fuck. What would I do? I'm fucking scared and I hate it.

I should have been careful who I look at. Rachel is her cousin, she would hate me and I understand but I have to lose her.

I'm so scared to lose her, I love her.

"Rachel, I'm in a relationship with your cousin." I tried to make her understand, tried to convince her not to do something we don't have to do "We don't have to be in a relationship." I said.

"But I want to." I don't.

-

One month.

Two months.

Three. four. five. six. seven. eight. nine. ten. eleven. twelve.

One year.

Two years.

Three years, Four years, Five years, Six years, Seven years.

She didn't come back. She left without saying goodbye. She left ywithout a single word to us. I tried to talk to Aunt Mabel and she said Astraea only talked to her in the mail, she said Astraea wanted to be alone and Astraea is okay based on her emails and I believe her.

I knew Embry and the others talked about her, especially Leah in silence, they tried to talk in a whisper but I always hear them. I can't blame them, I knew part of them blamed me for what happened.

I blame myself too.

If it weren't for me, she wouldn't have left, she wouldn't cry and she wouldn't have been broken.

-

She came back.

I thought she wouldn't but it still wouldn't have changed anything, I still hurt her. I knew she was trying not to notice us and spare us a glance.

She's engaged and she moved on.

That's great.

She cut her hair, too. She still looks the same but not the same. Her name was no longer Astraea, she changed it to Mera. Does she hate her old version that much? Or is it because Astraea is the name that the person who hurt her called her. Me.

-

She's drunk.

That Mateo is by her side again, everyone knew about their fake engagement.

She almost fell. This is not Astraea, this is certainly Mera. She did change cause Astraea hated alcohol and she hated tight dress. Rachel is on my arm again, she's annoying me for god sake.

I watched as Mateo threw her arm over his shoulder to support her. I felt jealous while the girl I was with was in my arms but I was with her not because I chose her but because I chose my duty over the girl I love.

They went inside the house and Mera's Aunt was quick to follow when Mateo came to fetch her. I guess someone is in trouble.

I hope I was there to take care of her.

-

"Because of you, I lost the only girl who was there for me through worse." I spat at Rachel. She was trying to have a heated moment with me but I refused and because of that she slapped me and started screaming at me.

I shouldn't have brought her to Emily's house.

"It's your fault, too." Rachel replied as she got out of the door, throwing me one last look "I know, and don't worry, I blame myself too." I said before I slammed the door.

I'm sure she would go back to their place and tell them billy broke up and I'm hoping her name wouldn't be dragged into this. She already suffered too much because of me.

I should have fought for us but I didn't and now, I lose her.

I love her truly.

But, I let duty overcome it and now, we both suffer from it, especially her.

-

I had a little hope when I found out that Mateo came back a few months after they left. "Mateo." This is the first time I ever talked to him, he probably hates me too because of what I did to Astraea

"How is she?" I asked, kind of nervous about what would he answer. Mateo clicked his tongue and I could see the hesitation in his eyes to answer "Not good, she's drowning herself with her work and always locked away in her office." He answered.

I stared at him and didn't know how to respond cause I didn't know what to say "Go to her, Paul. She needs you." Does she need me? The way I need her?

I am given another chance to make it right and I'm not gonna waste it.

God, I fucking love her.

-

"I'll marry you, Paul." She answered and she said yes. Wait, she said yes? I stand up and pull out the ring from the box because I cup her face into my hands and capture her lips with mine.

I waited so long for this, to be in her tight embrace again and to feel her warm lips in mine. I wrapped my arm around her and I could not control my emotions any longer as tears ran down my face.

"Why are you crying?" She asked, kind of laughing at the state I am in right now, "Because my dream just came true." I replied truthfully, "Marrying me is your dream?" Mera laughs as she stares at me and wipes my tears.

"You are the dream, Hemera."

The end.