stop and wait a sec | remus lupin and reader hurt/comfort

boggarts

You entered the classroom and Lupin looked at you for longer than he usually did. Somebody had obviously told him about your 'oh so terrible behaviour'.

The board read,

'BOGGARTS'

'Open pages 200 and 201 of your textbooks, and then join me and line up against the wall.'

You knew what boggarts were. Everybody knew. They were what you most feared. You knew exactly what you most feared, and you tried to put your mind off of it. You didn't want everybody to see that.

You opened your textbook extremely slowly, attempting to look like you couldn't find the page, so you would be last in line. But unfortunately, Lupin told you to leave it and line up. You really wanted to get your place in quidditch back, so you couldn't be rude unless they really, really deseverved it.

A few people did their boggart thing. You weren't listening because there were still so many people in front of you, so you didn't think that you would get time to do yours. Surely Lupin would realise watching thirty people do something over again is enough to engrave it into your brain.

Then, about halfway through the lesson, Professor Lupin chose to start picking random people out of the line. You tried to hide in plain sight, you put your head down, but not too down so he would think that you didn't know what to do. You didn't dare look at him, so he wouldn't notice you.

Luckily, he picked Seamus. And then Pavitr, then Neville, and then Lee Jordan. You began to relax. The lesson should end soon. It felt like it had been years since the bell rang and you came out of hiding.

You watched the clock tick with every second that passed. You didn't actually know what time the lesson ended, but you were positive that it would finish sooner or later. There is no way that it hasn't been around an hour yet.

Lee Jordan had finished, and the bell still hadn't rang. It should be any minute now. You just knew it would be (you knew that you couldn't be bothered with this lesson anymore).

You stood around, with your legs almost going numb waiting not so patiently for this stupid bell to go. "Y/n, come to the front please," Lupin said.

Oh fuck.

You tried to get your mind off of it but it just got worse the more you tried to avoid it. You tried stalling by pretending that you didn't know what to do, but Lupin could see through your lies. He knew you were a bright student, and the amount of questions about what to do that you were asking was astonishing. Not even Lupin's dumbest students asked as many questions.

"Oh, Y/n just get on with it will you?" Professor Lupin asked. It wasn't in a mean way, even though it sounded like it. He just wanted to get it over and done with. "Think of the thing you fear the most."

You couldn't stop yourself. Your mind kept going back to it. You were in the bathroom. In that cubicle. Your sleeves were rolled up and you had it in your hand.

You froze. You didn't know what to do. You squeezed shut your eyes, thinking that would do something. When Lupin saw what your boggart was, he pushed you out of the way. He then got rid of it.

You couldn't help but keep looking down at your arms, making sure that your sleeves were still rolled down. You didn't trust yourself after outing yourself as a hardcore emo infront of the whole class.

Lupin carried on with the lesson. He was trying to make the children forget about it. And himself aswell. But he knew that he needed to talk to Y/n about it, not just because of legality of it, but because he saw everything. He didn't want his students to suffer, no matter if they were stupid or not.

You sat back down, in your seat. You stared into space, but you weren't able to think. You were just there. You didn't feel anything. No shame. No anxiety. No guilt. No fear. You didn't do anything. You just sat there. You felt like an inanimate object. You were just waiting for everything to end. For this Merlin forsaken lesson to finish. For Lupin to suffer amnesia and forget what he saw.

Obviously that wasn't going to happen though, so you had to deal with it. He knew, you can't change that. He knew, it doesn't mean that you have to talk to him about it. He knew, it doesn't mean that he has to know everything.

But sometimes you longed for someone to know everything. Whenever you felt properly happy, you didn't want a 'nice' or 'cool', you needed an 'I'm proud of you' or a 'Yay!'.

Whenever you were clean, you needed a hug and a congratulations. Not just you being happy because you will be able to wear short sleeves soon.

You needed to have somebody there with you, and not a friend. Friends are great and all, but they always felt like they weren't actually there half of the time. With teachers though, it's great. This is their job, they can't walk away or shit talk students.

The bell rung. "Class dismissed!" Lupin announced. "Not you Y/n. We need to have a chat."

You could hear some girls laughing, because this is the third 'chat' you've had in the past three hours. That's a bit embarrassing, really.

"I saw your boggart. I am not mad. I am not angry. I just want you to be okay," Lupin began. "As a teacher, I am legally classed as a mandated reporter, both in muggle and wizard law, so I will have to report this to Professor McGonagall. And... I'm sorry but I will have to call your parents about this."

You stayed silent. You didn't know what to say. You've never had somebody comfort you before, but you didn't want everybody knowing. Especially because you just told McGonagall that you were fine.

"If you don't want to talk about this currently, that's okay. I understand that you might need some time. However, we will need to talk about this within the next 48 hours. I know it's a lot of pressure, but again. It's just the law," Remus continued.

"I want to go home," you mumbled. You weren't talking about your house. Your house is trampy. You hate it there. You hate the people there aswell. You wanted to feel safe. You wanted to feel comforted and sheltered.

"I understand. Because it is the middle of the term, we cannot send you home, unfortunately. You and I are going to have a meeting with McGonagall during my free period, which is straight after lunch. We will sort everything out then, okay? I'm sure you already know, but McGonagall isn't angry by nature. She will not be angry at you. She will not be mad at you. She will treat you with the love and care that you deserve, okay?" Professor Lupin reassured Y/n. At this point. Lupin didn't feel like Lupin. He wasn't Remus either. He was Moony.

1211 words.