stop and wait a sec | remus lupin and reader hurt/comfort

lupin is just a git

The time between fourth period and lunch went increadibly slow. You were so worried about what was to come. You weren't too bothered about your parents knowing, you only saw them for six weeks a year, and there was still nine months until the summer.

But what you were worried about was McGonagall's reaction. Some people would call you a control freak, but in reality, you were just afraid of people viewing you differently. You were afraid of things changing and you were afraid of things not being the same as they were before, especially if it was because of you.

Lunch rolled around, and it was absolutely boring. There weren't even any Yorkshire puddings, which was basically the sole reason you didn't die in the mank toilet cubicle. You did debate ending it right then and there, but there would hopefully be Yorkshire puddings tomorrow.

The clock ticked and ticked. Five minutes until the meeting. Your heart was pounding at this point. You couldn't do it. Hermione had barely even looked at you for the whole lunch aswell. You didn't care about her anymore though. If she didn't want to talk to you, let it be. She's dead to you now, and you couldn't care less.

Everyone started getting up and out of their seats. You did everything you could to look busy. To delay the process of looking McGonagall in the eyes and telling her everything. You doubt you would even tell her. It would be Lupin with his big gob.

Filch started rushing everybody out of The Great Hall. You had sixty seconds.

You walked out extremely slowly. You noticied McGonagall and Lupin walking together, talking. That git had probably already opened his mouth while you were eating. It was one thing to do it infront of your face, it was another to do it when you were completely oblivious.

Well, you obviously knew that ut was going to happen, but you just wanted to be there when it did. That's why you were raging when you figured out that Lupin had already told your head of house, McGonagall.

You knew that it was to do with safeguarding, but he could literally see you. What were you going to do? Slit your wrists underneath the table? Obviously not.

The bell rang. You slowly wandered to McGonagall's office. The only reason why you even decided to go was so you would have the possibility of being back on the quidditch team.

Everyone had already reached their classes before you had gotten to McGonagall's office, that's how slow you were walking.

You had finally reached where you were supposed to be and you took a long, deep breath before reluctantly knocking on the door. Everything in your brain was telling you to run and hide but you knew that running wasn't an option.

Lupin opened the door, giving you a sympathetic smile. You rolled your eyes. You really couldn't be bothered at that second.

"Have a seat," McGonagall began. "Your professor has already told be about... the main... details. But I'd like to hear it from you, and I want the truth."

"I, I just, I can't I'm sorry," you said. You didn't know what to say or how to say it. You didn't want to go on one long rant because that'd probably end by the time you died of old age, and not by killing yourself.

"That's okay, mi- Y/n," McGonagall replied, attempting to reassure you. "I know that you probably aren't ready to talk about it, but I need to ask you a few things. It's for your safety. Everything said in this room will stay between me, Lupin, and- and Madame Pomfrey. For safety and safeguarding reasons. Could you tell me what you use? And if it's clean?"

"Well, um, I, sorry. I, well today, I- I used my potions knife. I don't usually use it, and it was clean, 'cause Snape always makes us clean it after we use it, but it was an emergency, and my usual thing was, it was in my dorm. I'm sorry," you admitted. You didn't know what else to say.

"Thank you for telling us that. What we can do today, is to get Pomfrey to have a look at your arms, and clean the wounds. We just need to make sure they don't get infected. If that's okay with you," McGonagall said. Lupin was standing behind her. "You will need to hand in your potions knife, and everything else that you use."

"Professor. You can't. You can't take them. Anyway, I need my potions knife for my studies, won't I, Lupin?" You argued.

"Professor Snape will lend you one," Lupin replied. You looked at his face properly for the first time today. He looked sad. He looked sad because of you.

"I'm leaving," you said, walking out of the door, grabbing your bag and not turning back. You heard someone follow you, but you didn't care who it was, you just wanted to get away. You locked yourself into Lupin's classroom. He wasn't in there.

Oh wait. Obviously he wasn't in there. He was literally the guy chasing you. That was a big stupid innit?

He opened the door, not even needing to use alohamora, he had his keys on him. He saw you walking around the classroom. You didn't know what to do with yourself.

"It's alright not to be alright, you know that?" Lupin said.

"Don't you think that I've heard that saying millions of times. One in ten young people experience mental illness. 'Suicide is a permentang solution to a temporary problem' and 'you're too smart to be slitting your wrists' doesn't work on me mate. Am I better than this? Or do I have so much potiential sir?" You replied.

"Yes. Yes you do, Y/n," Lupin sighed. "I'm trying to help you here. I want to understand. And I want to understand why you hate everybody trying to help you."

"That's a bit of a broad assumption isn't is sir? You shouldn't be stereotyping students, thats prejudice. Could get you sacked sir," you said, have had enough of Lupin.

"I want to understand," Lupin repeated.

"Why do you think that I don't like people comforting me? Maybe because nobody has ever cared about me this much before. Not even Hermione. My parents don't give a damn, they'll just overreact because they want their reputations to stay in check. I frankly don't care about anybody no more, because people are the worst. Everybody these days are all lying, decieving cows. Can't trust no one in this generation. I'm talking about you too, you bloody ancient git," you said. You didn't know how you felt, you just didn't want to say that you were sad. You weren't annoyed. You didn't feel anything.

"I'm sorry," Lupin replied.

"Piss off, you're only saying that because you don't know what else to say. Nobody bloody likes you for fuck's sake. Everybody knows you're a man shagger," you shouted. You didn't know what else to say. Remus for sure knew that half of that was true though.

"You're being aggressive," Lupin said.

"I'm just defending myself you idiotic sket," you replied.

"I'm not attacking you," Lupin sighed.

"Go away, I don't want you here," you argued.

"This is my room," Remus began, "you are going to go to your dorm, where you are going to find your quidditch uniform. You should probably put it in the back of your wardrobe, because I doubt you'll be getting to play any time soon."

Why did Dumbledore have to tell Remus bloody Lupin? It's none of his business. You couldn't be bothered anymore. You walked out and went into the toilets. You weren't going to do anything. You had the choice to, because your knife hadn't been taken off of you yet, but you didn't even have the energy to scratch lines into your skin.

1325 words.