What Doesn't Kill Me

Chapter 12 - The Confirmation

For a whole week, Cole was so nice, and loving it made me so happy. The thought of his ex's bruised images and his messages that still occasionally popped into my head only triggered a guilty feeling. I wanted to trust my husband but somehow the images kept bothering me. I was torn between wanting to forget it or just asking him, but that would risk him getting angry again.

As for Orion, he was back to being a regular customer at Starlight Cafè, coming every day. He kept asking about me and how I was doing every time he came. I didn't know what he expected me to say, but I was getting the impression that he kind of waiting to hear something bad happen so he could meddle in my life again. I told him everything was fine, and thankfully my appearance also got better that he had no choice but to believe what I was saying. Still, I had decided to make it clear that I would never leave my husband.

"Here's your coffee," I said, putting down a cup of hot espresso on Orion's usual table in the outdoor area.

"Thank you. How are---"

"I need to talk to you," I said before he could finish his question.

"Okay, do you want to sit?" He pointed at the empty chair in front of him.

"No. I'm still working."

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?"

"Look, I know that hiding the truth about Avan from you is wrong, and I understand that you want to be with him."

Orion didn't say anything and just stared at me.

"But as his mother, I just want him to have a normal life, and he already has it with me and Cole," I continued.

Anger flashed in Orion's eyes when I mentioned Cole's name. "Are you happy with him?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Yes," my heart clenched as I answered his question.

"Do you love him?"

"I do," my throat tightened.

"Has all the proof I gave you not enough to make you think again about being with him?" Orion's body moved towards me.

"I told you, I'm not sure if that was real or not," I stepped back a little.

"Which one? The bruises images or the messages he sent his ex?"

I wanted to say both, but knowing my husband, the bruises might be real. "The messages," I said and immediately swallowed regretting my answer.

"So you believe the bruises were real?" He started at me dangerously.

"Uh... No, not really," I lied.

Orion tightened his lips, and after a few seconds just staring at my face, he leaned back in his chair. "Fine, if it's the messages you don't believe, why don't you check for yourself?" He said.

"What? Are you telling me to check my husband's phone? It's his privacy, I trust him," I quibbled.

"If you trust him, you won't find anything. And if he trusts you, he wouldn't mind," Orion folded his arms.

"We do trust each other," I said, more to convince myself.

"Okay," Orion said.

"Okay," I stated and left his table.

The conversation I had with Orion stayed in my mind for the rest of the day. Though I wanted to trust my husband, the thought of him sending lots of messages to his ex using different numbers, seeming desperate to see her, bothered me so much. I spent hours and hours contemplating if I should check his phone, but I could not bring myself to do it. It was just wrong, I shouldn't pry into his private belongings. We both had respected our privacy throughout our marriage, why should I cross it just because of some untrustworthy proof?