Self-explanatory -- L.H.

Chapter 4

FLASHBACK to October, sophomore year of college

It had been so cold that day late in October, and it had rained like it hadn't in a long, long while. All Sunday long, Luke had been deep in thought. He finally opened up to his true feelings and admitted to himself that something was missing. Something had been missing for a long time now. Luke wouldn't feel the same way when he looked at her. He wouldn't smile through their kisses. He wouldn't want to text her or be around her all the time anymore.

Luke came to the conclusion that something needed to be done. He and Jade both needed a saving out of this relationship and right now, Luke was tired of fighting it. He just wanted to be honest, to get all of the shitty feelings out of the way. He'd really tried, but their relationship had proved itself to be hopeless.

Luke had cried that afternoon, as he lay on the bed and thought of how scared he was to grow even more distant from Jade. They knew each other so well, and soon he wouldn't be able to talk to her about everything anymore, like he used to.

And when Luke was ready - or so he thought - with going over all of the thoughts he'd pushed away for so long, he tried to get himself to walk out the door. It took him a while, but finally Luke was in the hallway and hesitantly made his way over to Jade's dorm.

When he stood in front of it, he stopped and listened for a while. Everything was completely silent, which was very unlike this campus. There would always be noise, sounds or talking, but this afternoon all Luke could hear was the soft dripping of water in the drainpipe outside the window, as if a clock was ticking away the time he had left until it would all be over.

Shaking his head to get out of the daze, Luke bravely knocked on Jade's door and hoped she would be alone.

When Jade opened the door she smiled softly, but it didn't reach her eyes. She knew the things Luke knew, he was assured, and this breakup would come from the both of them. Luke praised the lord when Jade let him in the room and it turned out to be empty except for the two of them.

He sat down on the bed and Jade sat down beside him. For a minute, Luke considered how weird Jade would find it if he just kept sitting there for a few hours, and then left. It would have been easier than his original intentions. Quietly, Jade sighed and Luke felt her rest her head on his shoulder.

They stayed like that for a while. Luke just thought about everything there was to say and about the times he'd had Jade to thank for, and he really, really hoped Jade was thinking of the same things.

So after a couple of minutes, Luke finally brought up the courage to speak his thoughts. "Jade," he whispered and she hummed softly in response, "we can't go on like this."

"I know," Jade whispered back, as if there were other people in the room. Both Luke and Jade just felt like whispering at a sad time like this, Luke guessed, and he was okay with it.

Jade continued: "I'm so sorry, Luke, but . . . I've thought for a long time that maybe this could work out, you know."

"I know, I know," Luke breathed out, "me too."

"Something's missing," Jade spoke Luke's earlier thoughts. A tiny pitch in her voice caused Luke to look at her face: Jade was crying. Immediately, Luke felt tears well up as well. It had always been that way: Jade cried, Luke cried. It was okay, Luke wanted to cry in a moment like this.

Jade sat up and pulled her act together a little bit, getting ready for some talking. "The past few months have just lacked their passion, I guess."

"Yeah . . . I feel like we're growing apart. We both want different things and all that," Luke added.

"Exactly. Gosh," Jade wiped a few tears from her cheeks, "I wish this would've ended differently."