Bloody but Unbowed

Chapter 3: On the pebble shore

"Happy Birthday Harry!!" Ron and Hermione cried as soon as the door opened. Harry hugged both of them - he had recently discovered that hugs were addicting.

"Thank you for coming! Kreacher is preparing lunch right now, in the meantime we could go for a walk near the lake. What do you think?"

"That's a great idea Harry!" replied Hermione.

"Is my sister here?" asked Ron with a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"What do you want Ron?" said Ginny, appearing on the stairs.

"Nothing... just... nothing" Ron's ears had turned red.

"Let's go guys!" Harry placed his arm in the middle, everybody put their hands on it, and in a blink of an eye they were gone with a loud crack.

They materialized near a shiny lake and behind it there was the most beautiful house they had ever lived in: Hogwarts.

"It's strange to know that we won't be on the 9 ¾ train this year, isn't it?" whispered Ron.

"Yes it is." Harry sighed.

"You are the lucky ones! Still one year for me!" complained Ginny. A long silence fell between them, while they were all admiring the castle.

"Do you ever have bad dreams about what happened?" asked Hermione distractedly.

"I always hear your screams, the ones from when we were in Malfoy's Manor, and every time I try to reach you, but the more I run, the more you are away from me." Ron had watery eyes. He turned his head not to let the other see a small tear coming down.

Heriome got closer and placed his hand on his shoulder from behind, then he hugged him softly and cradled him.

"Sometimes in my dreams I see Tonk's death over and over again, and everytime I try to cast a protection spell I can't, it's like I'm frozen. If only I had turned a second before, she would be alive..." Ginny was sobbing now.

"When I was in Australia, at first, I tried not to think about it. I tried to forget. But the past kept haunting me every time I'd let my guard down. The worst memory was your dead body in Hagrid's arms. I thought you were dead, I thought that every hope was lost, I felt lost." said Hermione gazing at Harry with sorrow in her eyes.

"We should all go to Mungo's Hospital then..." replied Harry with a gentle but sarcastic smile.

They laughed, then they started walking along the pebble beach.

"So, what are your plans for the future?" asked Harry.

"I don't know if it's a good idea, but the more I think about it the more it seems like the right choice: I would like to help George to restart their old business... they were so great... and they were also making tons of money!... But I don't know... it seems like I am replacing Fred." answered Ron.

"You are absolutely not!" shouted Ginny. "It is a wonderful idea! You should do it! So George could start living again"

"Is it ok though?"

"What?"

"Keep living when so many passed away? It feels like we owe them our eternal grief, doesn't it?"

"Ronald Weasley. We owe them life, because they sacrificed for it: for a better World for us to live in." replied Hermione. Harry didn't feel like speaking, he felt sick.

"Harry, are you ok? You are as white as a sheet mate!" Ron noticed.

"Yes.. it's just... in my head..."

"Is your scar burning?! Harry! Is Voldemort back?? Do you feel him?!" cried Hermione.

"No... no... it's not him... Only his voice... a quote... You have permitted your friends to die rather than face me yourself ... I think ... he's right. It's all my fault. I should be punished..." Harry felt a lump in his throat, he couldn't breathe properly, everything turned white, he started hyperventilating. Then, at last, he burst into tears, and for the first time he was truly crying for what had happened, for all the losses, for all the pain and the loneliness he had felt. He sat on the pebble shore, his head between his knees.

Ginny, Ron and Hermione sat next to him, they were quiet and still, their heads lost somewhere else. A dark shadow was covering their hearts, and they didn't know how to overcome it.