Oh, Brother Of Mine

Chapter 20

The Tsaritsa knew. She had known all along, and all this time, Diluc had been just another pawn for her, just another fool who was playing right into her trap without even knowing it. He had thought he was smarter than that. He had thought that maybe he of all people had a chance of breaking the cycle, of ruling rather than being ruled over. He had thought wrong. He was nothing compared to her. He would always be nothing compared to her. Compared to everyone.

Still, he bent his head down and bowed at the waist, keeping his gaze to the ground, keeping his breathing steady. There was no point to lie, no point to try and get away from the truth.

"Your wish is my command, Your Majesty," he replied, his voice hollow. Nothing felt real. It was all a lie. It had been all along.

The Tsaritsa gave him a chilling smile, the kind that made shivers run down his spine. "I expected nothing less. Go on, Truffaldino. Leave my sight."

With a flick of her hand, the room filled with a gust of ice-cold wind that practically forced Diluc out the doors. He couldn't stay in even if he wanted to. He bowed one last time to the Tsaritsa before stepping into the hallway, his mind perfectly blank for the first time since he'd arrived to this archon-forsaken nation. What was he supposed to do now? What could he do now, now that he knew that the Tsaritsa was breathing down his neck, watching his every move? He couldn't step out of line the way he had hoped he could - she'd notice right away, and then not only would he be punished, but those he was close to, too. Maybe Childe would receive some of the blows. Maybe Mondstat as a whole. And maybe - Diluc shuddered at the thought - maybe she would take out her wrath on Kaeya instead.

No. He wouldn't let that happen. He may have failed his dear brother in everything else, but the one thing he wouldn't allow was for Kaeya to face the Tsaritsa's wrath all on his own. No, that simply wouldn't do. Perhaps he'd bide his time, then wait until the Tsaritsa lowered her guard once more, and then he'd truly strike back, take her down and punish her for her cruel ways.

But... she had a point, didn't she? With her whole plan against Celestia? It was true that the heavenly principles were cruel to Teyvat. No one could deny that. And for the Tsaritsa to decide to fight back? Perhaps she knew even more than she let on about Celestia and its plans. Perhaps the Tsaritsa wasn't the real problem, and the real problem had been Celestia all along. Had it not been Celestia that banished Khaen'riah all those years ago? Had it not been Celestia that forced the people of Teyvat through so much suffering, that forced the people of Khaen'riah, Kaeya's people so much suffering? So shouldn't Diluc be on the Tsaritsa's side then, if all he wanted was to bring the offenders to justice at last?

He didn't know anymore. He didn't know anything. The only thing he was sure about was that he had to go along with this plan of hers, if not for his own sake, then for Kaeya's. For the sake of revenge for Kaeya and his people. For the sake of keeping Kaeya out of harm's way. For the sake of at least trying to make this twisted world a little bit less cruel.

Right. Okay. He would return to his quarters. He would wait for the letter containing his instructions. Then, he'd return to Mondstat and lure out Barbatos, and then he'd steal the gnosis, and then he'd return to the Tsaritsa safe and sound. That sounded simple enough. He could totally do that.

Except for the whole "returning to Mondstat" thing. How long has it been now since he'd left? Four years? Five? More? That was five years of being away from his home. Five years of being away from the Dawn Winery, away from the Knights of Favonius and the cheerful streets of the city. Five years of avoiding his ghosts, only to be forced to return to them. Five years of running away, of seeing familiar eyes everywhere he turned, familiar sights where they should not be, and now he was expected to just... peacefully go back?