From Stage To Barracks

chapter 16

Chaeyoung p.o.v

In my dreamworld, the lines between reality and the surreal blur into a disorienting labyrinth of sorrow and inner turmoil. It's as if the universe itself conspires to heap upon me the weight of unspoken pain, a burden that refuses to be ignored.

On these heart-wrenching days, I find myself standing in the shadow of my own insecurities, feeling neglected and undervalued despite the vivacious image I project on stage. The thunderous applause of adoring fans, the blinding brightness of stage lights, and the enchanting allure of dazzling performances all seem powerless against the relentless echoes of self-doubt that haunt my heart.

Within the depths of my dream, I grapple with the tumultuous emotions of being overlooked, convinced that I fall short of contributing enough to my beloved group, Twice. These feelings of inadequacy cast a long, suffocating shadow over my self-esteem, cleaving a deep chasm between the confident persona I display to the world and the vulnerable insecurities I secretly nurse.

Behind my carefree and spirited exterior, I am besieged by a haunting question that pierces my very soul: "Do you truly want this?" It's a question that forces me to confront my identity, not just as a member of Twice, but as an individual beyond the group's spotlight. The doubt lingers, taunting me, "Without Twice, am I nothing more than a fragment of a collective whole?"

My dreamworld has become a haunting mirror, reflecting back at me the darkest corners of my psyche. It cruelly reminds me that even those who radiate confidence can be weighed down by the crushing burden of self-doubt. The heartache I experience in this surreal realm serves as a stark reminder of the struggles that often remain concealed beneath the dazzling facade of stardom.

As a lone tear escaped from my eye and a slight headache throbbed, I gradually woke up from the dream, only to find someone holding my hand. It was my friend, Tzuyu. Despite her often sarcastic and savage remarks, she had a soft heart. I couldn't help but smile slightly as I observed her sleeping in an uncomfortable position nearby.

Turning my attention around the room, I noticed a bowl with some remaining porridge on the table, along with a bottle of medicine. My clothes had been changed into warmer ones, and the room felt comfortably warm. It was clear that my precious members, or dare I say, my family, had taken care of me while I rested.

As Nayeon touched my forehead to check my temperature, Jihyo chimed in, "I should take care of you more, Chaeng-ah. And you should eat more beans. You can't escape from me." I couldn't help but protest, "What beans? I don't like those little creatures, unnie."

I began to throw a small tantrum, and in the process, my hand accidentally knocked over the porridge bowl, creating quite a mess. I knew I was in trouble, but then I saw Jeongyeon unnie, and I gave her my best pleading eyes. She sighed and said, "You're lucky you're sick, or else I'd make you lick this up." I breathed a sigh of relief.

My head was starting to hurt more, and it didn't go unnoticed by Sana and Mina unnie. Sana asked with concern if my head was throbbing and came over to hug me from the other side, gently massaging my head. Mina unnie appeared with the medicine, and I smiled at her. I was about to hold it, but I remembered that both my unnies were still holding onto me. Dahyun unnie came over, placed the medicine in my mouth with grace, and patted my head.

"It's hard to escape from their embrace, isn't it, Chaeng-ah?" Dahyun unnie remarked, and I couldn't help but smile, feeling grateful for the warmth and care that surrounded me.

As we all gathered around the dining table and shared heartfelt laughter, Jihyo unnie placed a handful of beans in front of me. I couldn't help but give her a pleading look, hoping to escape this encounter with the dreaded beans. However, my plea fell on deaf ears as Jeongyeon unnie, with a hint of mischief, picked up some beans and placed them in my mouth forcefully.