Milo loves sex, parties and alcohol. He adores the thrill of being young, wild and mateless.
He has witnessed his family and friends find their mates, settling down and living happily ever after. But this has never appealed to Milo. He wants to be...
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I don't know how long I've hidden away in my room. Not leaving my bed unless I need to use the bathroom. I purposely shut off any mindlink walls from Nate or any of my family. But they all know something is wrong.
Deep down I can't shed this blanket of guilt.
I will never be good enough because I will always be this addiction.
No one could love me for the way I am. I might as well give up before I'm ahead of myself. Who was I even kidding? I'm unlovable. No one in their right mind would want to go anywhere near me.
Disgusting hands. Get your disgusting hands off me.
I shudder at the thought of Nate's voice the first time we met. I'd be a liar if I said it didn't affect me, I think about it daily. The utter repulsiveness in his voice, the desperation to get far, far away from me because I will ruin his life.
My eyes squeeze together and I shed a tear, wrapping my blanket tighter around my body and throwing it over my head.
Instead of going out and getting fucked at parties, I should have been focusing on my health, on getting myself back on track. But no, I messed that up too. I'm the only person to blame for all of this mess.
I hate myself more than anyone could hate me in return.
The door to my bedroom cracks open and I don't bother looking. I keep my back to the door and my head in the direction of the wall. I already know it's Reign before she says anything, that sweet, innocent scent could be picked up anywhere.
Now I'm even more embarrassed that the room probably stinks of sadness, humiliation and arousal.
Once wasn't enough. I couldn't stop myself and now I feel even worse than I did when I met up with Nate. How long ago was that? I don't even remember.
"Milo," Reign whispers as she walks towards my bed.
I wish she'd go away. I love her but I wish she wasn't here right now.
"Please talk to me, I'm so worried about you."
My nose wrinkles at her words. She shouldn't be worried about me, she should just let me wallow in my self-pity because I don't deserve anyone else's.
I feel the bed dip beside me and I cringe at the thought of her being near this bed after what I've been doing to try and give me a dopamine hit, anything to make me feel the tiniest bit happier. But it doesn't, it only makes me feel a thousand times worse.
Yet I can't stop, because those five seconds of heaven feels better than days of endless torture from myself.
"Hey," she whispers and tugs the cover off my head but I keep my eyes closed. "Please talk to me, Milo. I want to listen to what's going on. It isn't like you to hide up here, we're all so concerned."
