thirty; dark fears

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"You seem like you're in a good mood today," Layla comments as I struggle to fight back my smile.

It's hard not to be in a good mood when Nate is in my life.

The last few encounters we have had have ended in kisses and heated moments. I'm relieved that I'm not craving more, my wolf is satisfied with the light touches and the gentle kissing.

Of course, my cock has been raging with blood. But it feels enough. I feel satisfied and for once in my life, I feel like I've got a hold of it. Maybe this addiction isn't me after all, it was a phase, a moment in time that brought out the worst in me.

Nate makes me a better man. God, he makes me so much better.

"I am," I say as I lean back into the chair comfortably.

I've never noticed how soft the cushions are until now. Before all I could think about was the anxiety this room gave me but now I can feel the plush feathers beneath my legs and the way my body sinks into it with ease.

"Care to explain why?"

"I kissed Nate."

Layla blinks once and then smiles. "And what did you think about kissing him?"

My cheeks burn from smiling so hard. "It was amazing, oh. He planned this date, we watched a movie outside in this pick-up truck with blankets and snacks. I couldn't help myself, no one has ever done that for me. All they cared about was getting me into bed."

She hums. "How did it make you feel after?"

"What the kiss?"

"Yes," she nods. "How did your body react after?"

I take a moment to think even though I know the answer. "It felt relaxed and on fire at the same time. I felt guilty for kissing him at the start because I worried that I wouldn't be able to stop and Nate, he's a virgin. I would never want him to feel pressured into doing anything with me. So I stopped before it could go any further."

Layla then tucks her hair behind her ear and leans forward, pressing her elbows to her knees. "Are you glad you stopped?"

My head nods before she finishes the question. "Yes, it was enough for me."

"What happened after the date?"

"We parted ways and I saw him again, we kissed and things got a bit more heated but it didn't go further than kissing. I pulled away and I didn't have this burning desire to sleep with him like I would have if I was at a sex party," I take a breath and glance at the wall. "It shocked me because I thought I'd be climbing him after but I was... happy not to do more."

The corners of her eyes crinkle at my words. "This sounds like amazing progress."

I nod slowly. "Do you think it's because Nate is my mate?"

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