Stitched Together

Chapter 16: The Secrets We Keep

Its been a few weeks since the incident at Kanou's lab. Shinohara is still in the hospital, but I've gone to visit him several times and he's seeming much better. Our work has mainly been more paperwork after all the fighting. I'm fully healed now, but I'm going to need to go out and eat something tonight. Since fighting the twins all I've had is some blood that I was saving. It was given by an old acquaintance of mine quite some time ago. The moment I regained my top condition though, a new anxiety made its way into my life. Juuzou said he wouldn't kill me while I was hurt, but that's no longer the case, so every time I'm alone with him, I fear for my life. He acts as if nothing is different, still smiling and laughing without a care. My feelings have been conflicted to say the least, eating away at my mind every moment. My dreams have been plagued with numerous nightmares of Juuzou taking my life. I could run, leave, go far away from here, but my irrational love for him is binding me. Despite everything, I still feel that way, and I hate myself for it. I scribble down my final report of the day hastily, desperate to get out of this suffocating atmosphere. A pair of arms wrap around my shoulders and I let out a sharp shriek. Juuzou moves his face close to mine and looks at me with slightly narrowed eyes. "Oh, did I scare you?" he giggles coldly. My heart races as I try to control my breathing to keep from having a full on panic attack.

"S-Suzuya, I was j-just trying to finish up my work, p-please don't startle me like that," I stutter, the words spilling out of my mouth. His touch that used to bring me joy now only makes my hair stand on end. I hate it, I hate that I love him. I hate it with every fiber of my being.

"Are you feeling any better, your wounds have healed now right?" he says simply.

"Yes," I whimper, wanting to escape from his grasp and run home. He withdraws and stands back up straight.

"You know, you don't talk to me anymore, you should try to lighten up," he grins wickedly, his face adding 'While you can'. He knows he has me in the palm of his hand. He knows how much I fear him. I slam the pen down onto my desk and shoot to my feet as soon as I write down the last word.

"I'll be going now, good work today," I say almost mechanically.

"Oh yay, lets go home," he smiles happily and reaches for my hand, but I immediately flinch away from him. He pauses and a look that almost appears hurt crosses his features.

"I-I have a few things to do, so I'd like to leave alone," I say a bit guilty. He just stands there with a frown and a blank expression.

"Oh... yeah. You seem to have a lot of things to do these days," he mutters. I open my mouth to say something comforting, but I shut it and spin around and leave. I want nothing more than to be able to walk back in there, make a joke, and return home with him smiling, but that's impossible now. Things have changed too much. The night is cold, and the wind stings my skin as I drive home. The absence of a pair of arms holding onto me and a cheery voice in my ear makes me frown underneath my helmet. I never thought I would miss having him around this much. It's not fair, everything was fine before I met him. I park swiftly and go into my apartment. I throw open my nightstand and retrieve my mask. I stare at it for a moment. I'm not a soft hearted human. I am a killer. I am a ghoul. I am... alone. I snatch the clips out of my bangs and slam them onto my nightstand.

"Stop being pathetic!" I snap at myself internally. "Have you forgotten what you've done? Who you are? You've been on your own for years and you choose to care about it now?What's wrong with you? You are not weak, you are..." I think to myself and a grin stretches the corners of my mouth, "A monster," I say aloud, whipping around and exiting with a jacket and my mask in hand. Without realizing it, I also pick up my quinque, out of the sheer habit of it. I prowl the streets, looking for a good opportunity. My attention is drawn to someone who drops a bag, spilling the contents into an alley. Oh now that is just too perfect. I slip in after them. "Here let me help," I smile sweetly and they thank me. When they bend over to retrieve something, I snap my leg up and kick them farther into the dark opening. They look at me fearfully then freeze up completely when my eyes change and I slip on my mask. "Good evening," I giggle an tilt my head. They let out an abrupt cry for help but I appear before them and rip their tongue out of their mouth, tossing aside my useless quinque case. "Oh, ew, that's just gross," I make a disgusted face and wiggle the tongue in front of them before throwing it aside as well. They sob uncontrollably as they grasp at their bleeding mouth. "Ah, I do so love finger foods," I snicker, grabbing their hand and pulling their fingers right from their hand. I munch on them under my mask and bring my kagune out onto my hand. "Honestly your sniffling is kinda annoying, goodnight then," I smile and plunge the sharp appendage straight through their heart. I draw it back in and lick my lips. "Yay, dinner time," I flip up my mask and bite into the shoulder of my now deceased prey. Delicious. The flavor spreads across my mouth and I go in for more. Everything was going as planned until a knife zips right past me and buries itself into the wall. I turn around startled, knocking my mask back down. My eyes go wide in horror at the figure before me.