[COMPLETE] LIES ★ HYUNLIX

Confession?

RECAP

JYP started to laugh. "I thought that my boys also bullied Felix for a second." We all started to chuckle nervously as we left the room. When JYP and the rest of my members left I took the time to ask Park Jiwon a question. "Wait! Before you go can you answer this question as honestly as you possibly can?" Park Jiwon hesitated for a moment, then responded, "I'll try."

"Can I date Lee Felix?"

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Felix P.O.V

I was done practicing a dance for our song. I was about to head home when I heard someone call my name. I turned around to see Hyunjin. Why was Hyunjin here? Why did he need me? I stared at him confused, my head slightly tilting. "What do you need?" Hyunjin looked hurt, and I felt guilty. "Do you not want me here?" This caught me off guard. "Of course, I want you here, it's just that I am confused about why you are here?" I said, trying to make Hyunjin feel better and to relieve this extreme amount of guilt on my shoulders. Do you want to know what it feels like? It felt like holding the sky. Heavy. Very. "I was just joking, angel." Angel? Did he just call me an angel? I could feel my freckled cheeks turn into a bright pink. Hyunjin laughed at me, "Is someone flustered." Of course, I am, what does it look like? Am I pink because I am a fairy princess? Am I Aphrodite? Am I Eros? You're blind, mate. "Anyways, what do you need?" Hyunjin smirked, "Let's go somewhere private for now." I was confused what did he need to tell me that had to be told to me privately? 

I followed Hyunjin who guided me to the bathroom. "So why are we in the bathroom?" Hyunjin just stared at me, not telling me why the heck we are in the goddamn bathroom. "Please tell me!" Hyunjin just turned around and grabbed my waist. A tiny gasp exited my mouth. "J-Jinnie, what is this? Why are you holding me like this?" Hyunjin held my waist tighter, my lungs having a hard time breathing. "Felix, I want to confess something, please be honest with me." I stared at him confused but I replied, "Ok." 

"F-Felix, I like you. I don't like you in a friendship kind of way, I romantically like you." 

I stared at him, tears pouring down my freckled face. I don't know why, but it poured down heavily. "Felix, are you ok?" I shook my head, crying my heart out on his chest. "Shhh, Lix. Calm down. It pains me to see you cry." I sniffled, "Jinnie, we can't date we are forbidden to date. The netizens would hate it!" Hyunjin looked hurt after I said that I felt bad, the pressure was back on me. "I-I'm sorry I really-" I was interrupted by a cold slap across my face. I stared at him full of shock. "Do you think that I didn't think about that? I love you too much that I could care less about what the netizens are going to say, but you, no you fucking care." 

"I'm sorry for slapping you, I knew we couldn't work." 

He left.

He left me crying, was I in the wrong? Was I wrong to think about others during a confession? I felt so guilty that I felt I could kill myself, until I saw something on the floor, a bandage full of blood. I thought nothing of it until I remembered that Hyunjin had dropped it. I was shocked, was he committing self-harm? Why? 

Hyunjin P.O.V

I was upset, not at Felix but at myself. Why did I fucking slap him for not fucking liking me? I expected it, so why did I unleash my anger and disappointment on him? Ugh, Hyunjin you fucking dumbass asshole! You knew he was sensitive, yet you slapped him? He was just beaten up not too long ago, yet you still slapped him?

I was crying in my dorm, I grabbed a knife from one of my cabinets in my bathroom, grabbed a knife, and was about to cut myself when I heard someone enter my room. I instantly and quietly hit the knife and left the bathroom. 

I was pissed who would ruin the time of relaxation? I went out to see Lee Know. "H-hyung?" Lee Know motioned me to sit down, so I obeyed, not trying to get a lecture scolding from him. "Hyung, what's up?" Lee Know sighed, but answered, "You like Felix Sunbaenim don't you?" I was shocked how did he know? Was I that obvious? "I will take that look on your face as a yes." I had a look on my face. I was confused because usually, Lee Know was trash at reading people, how could he read me? Was I that bad at hiding it? "Look, Hyunjin, I don't care if you like him. You probably know that me and Han started dating not too long ago." Wait they were dating? Why didn't they tell me? "Wait, you are? I don't remember you- well anyone telling me that you and Han were dating." "Ah-I must've forgotten about you." I was offended did he not remember me? "WELL, we are off-topic. Did you confess to him? I'm guessing you didn't because you're such a mother fucking Iowa-" I don't know what came after me, but I lost it. "DO YOU FUCKING THINK THAT I DIDN'T CONFESS TO HIM!? I FUCKING DID AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID, IT WAS A MOTHER FUCKING NO. YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY!? It was because of the public." I blinked a couple of times to process what I had just said, and I instantly regretted it. "Shit, I'm sorry hyung, I didn't mean any of it-well it is kinda true, but I just wanted to say sorry for being inconsiderate with my words." Lee Know also seemed to be processing what he had just heard, "It's fine, you dealing with a rejection, it's okay for you to be feeling like this." I cried into Lee Know's arms, I never knew he could be so kind, but also because I needed someone to talk and vent to. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I hope that you can move on from him." 

I felt like I had a deeper bond with Lee Know just now. Usually, he wouldn't be this sympathetic, he would usually be cruel. I wonder if Han Jisung, his boyfriend, had changed his personality. Whatever the reason might be, I love this Lee Know.

I was feeling happy until a thought raced through my mind which changed my feelings.

Why were you happy when you left Lee Felix, your crush, broken? Who would do that you monster?

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A/N

Ok, I won't be updating as much because I can't log into my account on my main device. I will be trying to log on, so I won't be updating as much. If any of you can tell me how I can log in that would be a lifesaver! 

(I am debating whether to you y'all my phone #, but I know that I will regret that later.)