THE PERFECT GUY

Chp 1: The lonely me

Summer is over, and it’s back to school at Brookdale High.

Honestly, I didn’t do much during the break. My summer is a mix of staying home, reading books, watching movies, going out with my family, and visiting the beach on quiet Thursday evenings just to watch the sunset.

That’s me—the shy, lonely girl without friends.

For some reason, most people don’t like me. But I love the holidays, even if they mean doing nothing.

Now, I know you’re wondering: don’t I have any friends?

I do, but I’m not really their vibe. I’m quiet, not very observant, so they don’t really talk to me. Instead, they prank me and call me names at school all the time.

Yeah, it’s sad, but I’m used to it.

....

This morning, I wake up feeling miserable.

I really don’t want to go to school, so I go to find my mom and try to convince her to let me stay home, at least for a day—though, deep down, I want it to be forever.

“Mom, can I stay home just for today? I promise I’ll go tomorrow,” I plead.

“Why?” she asks.

“Pleaseee,” I beg, not offering a real reason.

“Oh, I get it. Sweetie, there will be a lot of new people at school. You’ll definitely make friends,” she says, trying to comfort me, but only making me feel worse.

I sigh loudly and stomp off.

I tear through my wardrobe, dresser, closet—every corner of my room—but I can’t find anything to wear that would make me stand out.

One of the reasons I dread going back to school is that I have no clothes, at least nothing I think is worth wearing.

Tears well up in my eyes, and I feel like giving up. I am pathetic, worthless, powerless.

I get bullied a lot, and I like to think I deserve it.

Even my friends bully me.

Is it still bullying if they’re supposed to be your friends?

They call me names, shove me around, and play pranks on me.

Nobody likes me.

I never feel worthy of anything. I’m just a weakling.

I accept my inferiority complex. I have nothing to live for, except for the faint hope of finding someone who truly cares.

I glance at the knife on my desk and sigh.

𝐼𝑓 𝐼 𝑑𝑖𝑒, 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑎𝑛𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝑖𝑐𝑒?

Tears fill my eyes. I have nobody. Except my mom.

𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑜𝑚 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑒? 𝐻𝑜𝑤 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙 𝑖𝑓 𝑠ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑢𝑖𝑐𝑖𝑑𝑒?

I sink to the floor and stare at the wall.

What if… he’s real? What if I die before I meet him? I can’t let that happen. I won’t. I’ll wait. I’ll be strong, live for whoever my soulmate turns out to be. He’s out there, somewhere, waiting for me just as I’m waiting for him. My impeccable soulmate, the one who will see me for who I truly am. I believe he’ll come into my life when I least expect it, someone who will love me without conditions, who will lift me up instead of tearing me down.

And when that day comes, I want to be ready. I want to be the best version of myself, someone who can stand tall, who can fight for her own happiness. I deserve that, don’t I? To be loved, to be valued, to be seen as someone worth knowing.

I’m not just going to wait for him, though. I’m going to stand up for myself now, change how I see the world and how the world sees me. No more letting people push me around, no more hiding in the shadows. I will start believing in my own worth, start fighting for my place in the world, because I have one. I do.

This semester, things will be different. I will be different. That’s not just a promise; it’s a vow to myself. I owe it to the person I’ll become, to the person he’ll fall in love with, and most of all, I owe it to the person I am right now.

I get up and dig deeper into my closet.

And yes, I find clothes.

I put on a white tube top, a short jean skirt, a blue hoodie, and white trainers.

I meet my mom in the car, and we head to… Hell.

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫!