𝗞𝗜𝗦𝗦 𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 // mcyt apply fic // ᶜˡᵒˢᵉᵈ

⁰²⁹ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴏᴏғ.

𝟶𝟸𝟿. [𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚏.]

[𝚌𝚘𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎  𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚒]

-

Cole loves the roof. He always has. It's where he finds his solitude, his peace of mind. He spends hours there, as the sunset fades to black and planes fly overhead. He has a playlist made specially for these nights, for stargazing alone, and it's nearly two days long.

He loves the sunset. The stretch of pinky yellow across the sky, the orange glow that reflects off every surface. He loves watching it melt to black, slow and gentle. It's the only thing in his life that's gentle.

Everything else is rough and jagged. Much like everything else, though, he's alone here too.

No, that's not right — he's not alone. He's just lonely. He's used to it though; he's dealt with it his entire life. And maybe it's his fault too, a little bit. He was always pushing people away. He did it to his parents, his siblings, his friends.

It's the reason Wil hates him.

Part of Cole aches to find a cure for his chronic loneliness, but he doesn't even know where to start.

Not when half the school hates him, and the other half is scared of him. His only friends are Iris and Cam, and they've got more friends than Cole has enemies.

He knocks his feet together and reaches for his pen.

He thinks about Wilbur as he exhales the smoke. He thinks about how he fucked up, how he tried pushing away Wilbur's feelings instead of dealing with it, how he watched everything go to shit and did nothing. He thinks about how he felt when Wilbur pinned him to the lockers too.

He knew Wil liked him in freshman year, probably before Wil knew it himself. That was the problem. Cole knew, and he refused to acknowledge it. He was so used to pushing everyone away and his feelings down, that he couldn't fathom how Wilbur couldn't do the same.

"So? Get over it!" Cole had cried when Wilbur confessed. Wilbur refused.

Cole knows why now. He knows he liked Wil back too, even if he didn't realize it back then. He wishes he'd known, that he'd pulled him closer instead of walking away. Maybe he wouldn't be so lonely, so broken.

He exhales and the air feels sharp and cold, scratching against his lungs.

His phone buzzes with a text and he reaches for it.

Private Number: hey its rose

Private Number: iris gave me your number I hope that's ok

Private Number: anyway I just wanted to thank you for taking care of me and cora the other night at the party, cam said we were pretty bad

Cole bites back an amused smirk. The two were the most hilarious pair of drunks he'd ever seen, tripping over themselves and giggling nonstop.

Np. U guys didnt really give me a choice

Private Number is typing...

Cole adds them as a contact in his phone. He hates having unsaved numbers.

Rose Auburn: oh my gosh I'm so sorry! We don't drink very often lol

Lmao you guys were fuckin hammered

It was entertaining tho dw

He sets his phone face down next to him. It dings with another text, but he doesn't bother. The sun has just begun to sink below the west side of town, taking on a glowing red hue. Idly, Cole wishes he had someone to watch it with. 

-

[𝟶𝟿.𝟸𝟼.𝟸𝟹]