Strange Shorts

The Agency

The agency will help you. This is what Martha reads as she sits in the salon, readying a magazine as her hair drys.

"Have you ever heard of this agency these magazines keep referring to?"

Martha says this to her friends sitting next to her. Agnis, one of her friends, takes the cucumbers off of her eyes, leans in, and says,

"Heard The agency can fix marriage problems."

Martha smiled wide and looked over to the hairdresser.

"Can I use your phone?"

The hairdresser pointed towards the back of the salon while chewing gum. As soon as Martha's hair was dry, she took the magazine and dashed towards the back as if all of her problems were solved. Martha dialed the number in, and the phone rang, and just about two seconds later, a woman answered the phone. Just as soon as Martha tried to talk, the woman on the other end repeated some slogans.

"Hello, thank you for choosing us to fix your person's problem. How may we assist you?"

Martha stood there for a moment to think about it. Maybe Fred, her husband, would need just a push in the right direction.

"Um."

Martha replies, trying to figure out the right words to say.

"You sound like you could use some marriage assistance; if so, please specify your needs."

Martha was lost for words. The company had their act together and got down to the source, that's for sure.

"Yes, I have a problem with my husband."

That's when the woman on the other end interrupts her to ask:

"Ok, ma'am, marriage problem it is. Can you please tell me his name and why you called us?"

"Fred... he, uh. Well, if you must know."

She smirks while rolling her eyes.

"Oh, Fred is so lazy. Ever since he retired, he's just been, well, you know, boring. He never wants to go out or listen to me. I heard you could help him, so that's why I could, you guys."

The woman on the other end could be heard typing on a typewriter while Martha patiently waited.

"Ok, I have instructions for you. Tonight at 1 a.m., the agency will be over. Remain in bed; do not look over at where your husband sleeps, and please keep all doors unlocked. Thank you for your time."

The woman hangs up, and Martha can't wait to tell her friends.

"Agnis, you will not believe me when I tell you this."

Agnis smiles as Martha approaches her.

"Fred is a changed man."

Martha says this as the whole salon grows in curiosity.

"Everybody is invited to come over tomorrow for brunch. My husband will be glad to see you ladies'. Oh, and don't forget to bring your husbands."

Agnis and her friends were overjoyed to hear the good news about Martha's husband. Martha returns late at night; she knew Fred went to bed late, so she wanted to make sure he didn't see her come home.
She slipped into her nightgown and went into bed facing the opposite side of where her husband was sleeping, patiently waiting as she watched the clock tick. It was 12:59, and as a sound from down the stairs could be heard, Martha was super excited to see what was in store. The door to their room opened, and a bunch of footsteps could be heard. That's when Martha could feel the bed move just a little, along with a slit moan that could be heard coming from Fred's side of the bed. Shortly after, the bed started to move, and just about a few moments later, it went still, the door shut, the house went silent, and Martha went to sleep. The next day came with the sun shining brightly into her room.
Martha smiled as she turned over to where Fred was and noticed he wasn't there-only a note with a rose taped to it. Martha opened the note and smiled while reading it.

"I'm in the kitchen, my sweet."

Martha ran down the stairs and noticed Fred sitting in the table chair, facing the opposite way from Martha. Martha
Walked up to him and turned to where he was facing, which revealed a fake manakin-like doll that looked poorly like her husband.

"Oh, my husband, you look wonderful today."

She picked up his stiff plastic hand and rubbed it as she looked into the doll's fake eyes as it starred back in a terrifying
Way. The doorbell rang, and Martha let the guest in. Everyone was pleased to see her and her husband. Agnis walked up to Fred and shook the plastic hand.

"And how do you do, Mr. Fred?"

The whole party was there, and they laughed along with Fred, who was just a stif and a lifeless manikin. The agency proves
To work with the so-called Fred out of the picture and a new and approved Fred that makes the whole party laugh at his silent jokes, this could be your life with just a phone call away.

The End