Part I: ❝ These Bones That I Call Home ❞

❝ The Love of a Mother ❞

The emotion she felt was like that of the waves ahead of her, crashing against the rocks, molding them and wearing them down until the rocks themselves no longer looked right.
Just like the erosion of the rocks, it took time for the emotions to settle and take hold; the damage they caused was unseen until she finally cracked under all the pressure she was feeling. She is Littledove.

Littledove had long dreamt of having a litter of her own. Born with a ghostly paleness that brought her bad vision and sunlight sensitivity, her only place was in camp.
She could hunt and fight, but not well enough to do good by her clan. So, she turned to her dream instead, longing to be a queen, bringing new life to her home in Marigoldclan, but that too was taken away from her. She was infertile. Her mate abandoned her side slowly, saying he couldn't stay if he couldn't have a family. Littledove understood, but she grappled with a hopelessness she was sure no one could see- but, her sister Oleanderfang could see it.

The pale she-cat was consumed for well over a moon by her misery.
She lingered near the nursery, apologizing many times when caught by the queens, who tried to comfort her with their motherly sympathy, but she always retreated to the elder's den where she had eventually ended up. Littledove was eventually so consumed that it began to physically manifest. In her dreams, she held plump, squealing balls of fur close in her paws, but in her waking hours she stared longingly at those same very empty paws with anguish.
She was diagnosed with a phantom pregnancy. However, in her mental state, she believed thoroughly it was real. She looked ready to pop for a long time and even began to produce milk, too. Her body was preparing for a litter that was never going to come, at least not the way she expected it to.

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" Are you sure about this, Oleanderfang? "
Icefawn, Marigoldclans medicine cat meowed, a tone of concern and doubt in her voice.
Oleanderfang turned on the heel of her paws, towering over Icefawn with both her seniority and her stubborn, stern nature- she was a wall of protection around her sister, and even when not in her presence she felt a need to defend her. Oleanderfang stared hard at Icefawn, the ball of fur in her muzzle wriggling and mewling, blindly searching with tiny, cold paws, for a warm mother it just wasn't going to find. Icefawn felt her fur rising as Oleanderfang turned away, beckoning her to follow with only a flick of her tail, and even with her uncertainty, Icefawn did indeed follow with two more bundles of fur in tow. They had been out on a trip to the border, ironically, headed for the neighboring clan in search of a surrogate that could possibly give Oleanderfang a litter that she could then pass to her sister. Icefawn was in silent awe of the sisterly love that the deputy possessed, willing to give up her body like that, all for her sister who was so ill.

They had stumbled upon a rogue she-cat. She was already in the process of dying, after having chased away what appeared to be a very malnourished fox in this low season of leaf-bare.
Three kittens lay by her side, squealing and pawing at her quickly cooling body, an urgency in their meows when she would not turn over to feed them. Oleanderfang felt pity, but she saw more of an opportunity than anything else. She had gathered them up without a thought, and trekked home with them and Icefawn in tow. The medicine cat eventually quit protesting about what their leader might say when Oleanderfang looked at her like that.

In camp, they avoided their clanmates and b-lined for the coral and rock that made up the medicine den. Oleanderfang hesitated once they got inside, a cold chill running up her back when she noticed how motionless her littermate was in the nest she had been in all these moons, waiting to birth her imaginary litter. She had cried for days straight, never really getting quiet until...well, until now. " ...Littledove? ", She meowed, her ears angling forward, before a deep sigh of relief escaped her as Littledove shifted her weight and raised her head.
Oleanderfang grabbed the kitten she had set down, causing the little tom to become startled, squealing his little heart out this made Littledove jerk, her bright red eyes wide and sleep-deprived as she stared at the little furball. She managed to peel her gaze off of him when Oleanderfang spoke again. She knew, that at least for now, her sister would be unreasonable, so they would have to do this her way.

" I'm so sorry we had to take them away. They were sick...but they are better now, and ready to be with their mother. ", Oleanderfang said through the fur in her mouth. " Isn't that right, Icefawn? ", Oleanderfang added quietly. The medicine cat balked for a moment, calming herself as she brought the remaining two kittens and settled them alongside their brother in the nest with Littledove.

" Yes, that is right. I am sorry I lied to you, Littledove, about them not being here yet. "

Littledove stared down at the mewling kittens for so long, Oleanderfang feared she would reject them, but soon, the nest-ragged she-cat had brought them close and was holding them, grooming their little bodies, and urging them to nurse as if they had been birthed from her own body. Oleanderfang sighed again with relief, letting the tension in her shoulders fall as she watched her sister bask in the motherly duties she had been so desperately longing for.
After a little while, Littledove eventually looked up at her sister, a look of uncanny appreciation and wistfulness on her face when she finally spoke;

" Thank you, sister. "

Oleanderfang felt a warmness in her chest, a slight smile curling onto her muzzle as she dipped her head, always bashful about praise. Deep inside she knew it was a lie that these kits were her own, she only hoped that when and if her sister came around, her love for these kittens would remain stable. Her hopes would eventually turn out to be right.
Given time, Littledove did recover from her illness and came to be a great mother to more than just that one litter. Although she raised many litters either abandoned or left behind when a mother died, her first was her biggest pride, as they were what had first made her a mother and shown her what exactly a mother's love could do.

[CTA: Myself, Azazels_Universe17]