Dang, looks like Felix gets to be Potato again. XD
Chapter 1+4+3
Place: an airplane :D
Time: like 2am or something
Ryan's POV
"We'll arrive in New Jersey in approximately one hour," the flight attendant informs us, and I lean my head against Potato's shoulder again, groaning. "This is ridiculous, Potato. Did we really have to move halfway across the country?"
"Yes, for your safety. We should have gone to like... Louisiana." He muttered under his breath.
I roll my eyes. "I think New Jersey is fine. Then again, I get where you're coming from... He wasn't very clever, was he? He just showed up outside your house with a lab coat and a walkie talkie and a freaking machete. Totally not suspicious. At all."
"I know right? I mean they could have at least disguised themselves a little bit."
"Mmhmm. Then again, we didn't call him Dr. Idjit for nothing. He's the dumbest scientist in all of HELL. Strangely, his best buddy - Bob - is the smartest. And also the cruelest, although Idjit is a close second in that department."
"Yeah, I can't wait to get off this plane!"
"Mm, well. An hour left."
Random Nearby Lady's POV
"blah blah blah I'm old blah blah blah"
"Mm, well. An hour left," a little rascal in the seat across the aisle from mine mumbles happily as he rests his head on another boy's. Ew. Ew. EW. I'm too old for this.
"Excuse me, boyyys?" I ask, my voice shaking because I am old.
"Um. Yes?" asks the same boy.
"Stop being weird. Boys aren't supposed to do those things together. Unless you're brothers? No, you aren't brothers. Stop being lovey-dovey. It burns my eyes."
"SHOVE OFF YOU OLD HAG!" the other one screams at me.
Hmph.
Well, then.
"Men are not meant to love each other like that! And gentlemen are not meant to scream profanities at ladies!"
"Lady? I don't see a lady. I see an old hag, though. Gosh, she's ugly," the first boy snarks. The nerve!
"I can't believe she thinks it's okay to talk to us like that. Some people will never understand," the second boy says, shaking his head.
"Yeah, you're right. No one will understand because it doesn't make sense!" I huff.
"I hope you die in a hole," the first boy informs me matter-of-factly.
"As do I."
The boy snickers, and my eyes widen.
"Oh! Oh, dear, that's not what I meant. I meant that I also hope that you will die in a hole."
"Uh... I'm terribly sorry, lady, but you seem to have put my boyfriend to sleep," Boy 1 sighs, mocking sadness. "Guess we can't listen to your babbling anymore.
"I hope he dies in a hole, too."
The boy's face gets... um... scary. "I will literally chop off your head if you do not shut up and turn back to your dumb old people movie."
"Downton Abbey is not an old people movie!" I protest while stereotypically knitting a sweater and playing ragtime on a nearby piano. He raises an eyebrow and turns to look at his boyfriend, successfully ignoring me, so I huff again and focus on my sweater.
Ryan's POV
"Boyfriend?" he asks quietly so the lady can't hear.
I smile sheepishly. "I mean, like- uh- I didn't mean it!" I whisper. "She was just being really annoying, and, like- ugh. Sorry."
"Don't listen to her, she's probably mentally challenged," says a girl in the row in front of us. She turns around, leaning over the back of the seat to speak to us.
"Uh, thanks. You're probably right, actually," I reply.
"I know I am. Anyways, I'm Ashlyn. 'Sup?"
"Um. I'm on a plane. To New Jersey."
"Cool. This is my friend Taylor. Say 'hey.'"
"Hey."
"Hey," Taylor echoes. "So, what's your name?"
"Uh, I'm Ryan. And this is Potato, but he's pretending to be asleep so Mrs. Retarded Lady won't bother us."
"Oh. Alright. We're going to go invade the cockpit and ask for more little peanut packets. You want some?" Ashlyn asks.
"Sure, thanks," I reply shrugging. They get up, and their combat boots stomp down the aisle as an attendant yells at them to sit down already.
"SHUT UP!" yells Ashlyn, because these two are rebels, they are.
They leave, and I realize that we've just crossed into New Jersey.
"We will be landing within the next few minutes," someone says over the speaker system.
"Almost there," Potato murmurs and pushes his head into the crook of my neck. "Almost there..."
☼☼☼
What even is this fic? That last bit with Taylor and Ashlyn is only there because those two friends of mine were looking over my shoulder and pretending to be bamf. Pssh. Whatever.
BAIIII, MY BE-AY-YOO-TIFUL RULERS!
YOU ARE READING
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