In the dimly lit apartment, Xichen sat at his grand piano, fingers poised delicately over the keys. The room was shrouded in a melancholic stillness, save for the soft hum of the city outside. The piano, a magnificent ebony and ivory masterpiece, had seen its fair share of performances, accolades, and heartaches. As the famous pianist prepared to play an unreleased composition, his thoughts meandered back to the one person who had once filled his life with both joy and sorrow.
The music flowed from Xichen's fingers, each note a reflection of his inner turmoil. The piece was hauntingly beautiful, an emotional tapestry woven from the threads of his guilt and longing. The melody reverberated through the room, filling the empty spaces with a poignant resonance that spoke of a love lost but never forgotten.
As his hands danced across the keys, Xichen's mind wandered to the day everything changed. It had been a bright, sunny afternoon when his brother and A-Cheng were in a hurry to go somewhere and decided to take his spare car. Sadly, they did so without knowing that the breaks were malfunctioning at the time. When the call came that the two had crashed and that A-Cheng's life was hanging by a thread, he felt as if he was drowning; he couldn't breathe. To this day, he sometimes gets small panic attacks when thinking about it.
Their life was supposed to be perfect; it was perfect, but evidently fate, with its cruel sense of irony, had other plans.
The guilt was always with him, even if no one blamed him, not even A-Cheng. His sweet, lovely A-Cheng, the one whose hopes and bright future were crashed in an instant.
Why didn't he say anything? After all, if he had said the car needed repairing and hadn't forgotten to call a mechanic, they would've never taken it. Although he knows that technically it isn't his fault and that A-Zhan should have asked before he took the car, he still can't help but feel guilty about the accident.
Lan Zhan and he argued about it a lot. His brother was also guilt-ridden, but contrary to him, he didn't allow this guilt to destroy the relationships he had with his loved ones. He has a marvellous life with the man he loves and is about to marry, and a prosperous career. Xichen only has his career.
The accident had resulted in a devastating injury to A-Cheng's leg. For a ballet dancer like him, a leg injury was a catastrophe of epic proportions. Xichen's heart had shattered as he watched the love of his life writhe in pain, knowing that he was the inadvertent cause of it all.
In the days that followed, Xichen's guilt consumed him like a relentless inferno. He blamed himself for the accident, tormented by the belief that he should have been more cautious and that he should have left the car in the repair shop right when he spotted the issue and not at home. The once vibrant bond between them withered under the weight of his self-flagellation.
Jiang Cheng, always graceful in his demeanour, tried to reassure Xichen that it was just an accident and that he didn't hold him responsible. But the pianist couldn't shake off the guilt that gnawed at his soul. He became distant and withdrawn, spending hours at the piano composing music that echoed his inner turmoil.
Their relationship deteriorated as Xichen sank deeper into his guilt-ridden despair. The vibrant, passionate love they once shared was replaced by a suffocating silence. A-Cheng had tried to be patient and understanding, but there was only so much he could take. He had a career to rebuild and a life to live, and he couldn't bear to see Xichen wallow in perpetual self-pity.
The breaking point came one fateful night when he confronted Xichen, tears in his eyes. "I can't do this anymore," he had whispered, his voice trembling with sadness. "You can't keep punishing yourself like this. It's destroying both of us."
Xichen had pleaded and begged for forgiveness, but the man's resolve was unyielding. With a heavy heart, A-Cheng had walked away from the man he had loved so deeply, leaving Xichen alone with his guilt and his music.
As the unreleased composition swelled and ebbed, Xichen's fingers expressed the sorrow and longing he had held within for so long. The notes were a desperate plea for forgiveness, a wish for a chance to turn back time and undo the pain he had caused. He knew he couldn't change the past and couldn't mend A-Cheng's injured leg, but he wished he could heal the wounds of their love.
The room was filled with a haunting silence as Xichen finished playing. His heart ached, and tears welled up in his eyes. He knew that he had to find a way to forgive himself and let go of the guilt that had imprisoned him for so long. He missed Jiang Cheng more than words could express, and he couldn't bear the thought of a life without him.
With a deep sigh, Xichen rose from the piano bench and made his way to the window. The city lights glittered below, a reminder of the world outside his apartment. It was time to face his demons, to seek closure, and perhaps, if fate allowed, to find a way back to the man he still loves with all his heart.
As he gazed out at the city, Xichen knew that the road to redemption would be long and arduous. But he was willing to take that journey, to let go of the past and create a new melody for his life—one that, hopefully, would include JInag Cheng once again.
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Watching You Soar | Xicheng - ON HOLD
Fanfiction"Lan Xichen still marvels at the grace and lightness with which Jiang Wanyin makes even the most difficult dance routine seem so simple. He is like a dandelion floating in the air to the rhythm of the wind's melody on a sunny summer day." *** The lo...
