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ISIS. fri. 3:30pm
I can still remember standing there that night after she'd taken off without even giving me the chance to respond. I remember feeling so angry, so hurt, so alone, and asking why I'd allowed myself to go through this much pain. "I SAID I DIDN'T WANT to see you anymore."
It was hard to say those words when I knew I'd been telling her a lie, telling myself a lie.
I missed her.
I missed her so fucking much. I missed her presence, her love, all of it. I wanted her back more than anything in the entire world, but I couldn't take her back after what she'd done to me. I see her shoulders slumb slightly at hearing the exhaustion in my tone, big eyes staring down at me with guilt and sadness.
"I know, bu-"
"Then why you at my door" I looked her in the eye, trying my best not to cave under her gaze.
"You know why I'm here," she sounded hurt and for a moment it takes me by surprise. I'd never heard her sound so vulnerable, so scared. It almost made me want to forgive her. Almost. She was going to have to do a lot better than making herself sound affectionate to get back cool with me. I needed more. Not just words; actions.
"I don't."
I hadn't even noticed my body moving to slam the door until her tattooed hand came into view as she gently swung the framing aside. "Ma stop- wait hollon," she panicked. "I'm here for us- f' you. I'm sorry you saw what you saw, but baby you gotta listen to me please?" Her brows furrowed, the hard exterior she usually wore being replaced by a more sincere one.
"I don't gotta listen to nun and I damn sure ain't finna stand here listening to you try explainin' why you was fuckin' on her!" I started to push her back as the feeling of all those emotions I'd tucked away begin to spill out all over again. I just kept pushing and pushing with the hope that she'd give up and finally leave my life.
Only she didn't.
She just stood there, staring at me as if I was the most precious thing in the world. "That's not what happened, Isis, please-" Her pleading comes to a sudden halt and her eyes are glossy as if she were seconds away from breaking into tears. She takes in a shallow breath, "It's hard to explain and I wish I had the strength to tell you what really went down but I can't. Baby 'm sorry." She muttered to me.
"You don't needa tell me what I already saw, Naomi." I scoffed, shaking my head. "Go home and quit bothering me." I turned on the bare of my feet, ready to walk away, only to be stopped before I could even take five steps.
She swiveled me around and without any kind of warning, she kissed me.
Not a horny kiss.
Not a sad, boring kiss.
It was an actual real kiss. And damn it felt good.
I could taste her peppermint chapstick mixing with the flavor of my lip gloss as her tongue gently seeps into my mouth. She tilts her head in an angle that somehow further connects our lips, pulling me as close as our bodies would allow us to — almost as if she were scared to let me out of her hold.
The feeling of water dripping onto my face lulled me back to reality. My eyes snap open and I'm quick to pull back as I stared up at her in confusion. Bringing a hand up to my cheek, I swiped away the tears — tears that didn't belong to me. "Naomi?" I watched as she looked me over softly before leaning in and pressing her lips to my forehead.
