Solace

Chapter 36

"Sheher ke beecho beech ek nadi behti hai, bohut hi shant si. Aur uski thandi hawa dil mein sukoon ki tarah behti hai.."

Three years old Karishma kept looking at her mother in amazement, who was describing a place as if it was heaven.
"Mujhe bhi jana hai waha", she demanded, clinging to her mother.

"Bilkul jana. Mai khud lekar jaungi tumhe waha", Amrutha said, caressing her daughter's hair lovingly.

"Powmise?", baby Karishma asked, raising her head to look at her mother.

"Promise", Amrutha replied, placing an affectionate kiss on her daughter's head.

But Amrutha Singh couldn't keep her promise, it was only a few weeks later when she died and Karishma didn't have the heart to visit the place she knew as her mother's hometown, without her mother by her side. Some vague memories of her mother flashed in Karishma's mind, sitting in one corner of her room with her head buried on her knees. It's been four days since she almost locked herself in her room.

"What makes you seek reassurance from Haseena so badly?" A voice came from inside her, "Is it the loss of your mother that triggers this lingering insecurity of yours!"

"Nope, it's just you making excuses for your despicable behaviour", another voice was quick enough to dismiss the former claims, "See how everybody worries for you but you couldn't care less. You selfish human being!"

The battle of conflicting emotions inside her went on and on and intensified into a throbbing headache when she heard a knock on her door for the nth number of times now.

"Karu mai bata rahi hu darwaja kholo! sarr fad dungi mai tumhari!", she heard Santosh shouting on top of her voice.

"Just leave me alone!!" Karishma screamed, rubbing her swollen hands on her forehead, trying to lessen the headache that was only increasing with time.

"About that! I have good news for you", Santosh scoffed. "Haseena ja chuki hai tumhe chodkar, bas yahi kehne ayi thi mai."

As those words hit Karishma's eardrums, her heart sank with a familiar fear and she hastily moved to open the door. "Santu agar mujhe bahar nikalne ke liye tumne yeh bakwas ki hai toh bata rahi hu bohut bura hoga tumhare saath", she warned Santosh but it sounded more like a plea to let her know what she heard was not true.

"Of course tumhe bahar nikalne ke liye bola hai", Santosh said in a nonchalant manner, pushing Karishma aside to enter the room before she could lock it again. A sense of relief washed over Karishma as she released the breath she was holding till now. "Waise tumne aisa kuch kiya hai kya jo Haseena ki jaane ki noubat ayegi?" Santosh inquired, narrowing her eyebrows.

"Woh maine...", Karishma felt lumps forming in her throat, not being able to repeat the utterly disgraceful words she accused Haseena of.

Santosh understood her hesitation as she was aware of the latter's previous confrontation with Ishan in the party and she had an idea of the reason behind it. "Jo abhi bolne mein itni hichkichahat ho rahi hai, woh Haseena ko bolte waqt toh nahi hua hoga?" her doubtful gaze fixated on Karishma who had her head hung low in remorse. "Aisi harkate kyu karti ho jisse baad mein sabse jyada taklif tumhe hoti hai", Santosh's voice softened as she pulled Karishma into a comforting hug.

"I have done something unforgivable, Santu. Aur mai kuch bhi kahu, kuch bhi karlu I cannot take those words back!", Karishma's voice choked with a profound sense of contrite emotion.

"Ab toh samajh agayi hai na ke tumne galat kya hai? Then go and apologize", Santosh suggested as she settled herself on the couch, along with Karishma.

"Woh meri calls nahi utha rahi aur messages ka bhi reply nahi kia", Karishma said between her silent sobs.