Solace

Chapter 42

Lafz karenge ishara jaane ka,
Tum ankhein dekh kar rukh jana...

"Aap..", Haseena asked, which came out as a mere whisper.

"Haan, mai'', Karishma replied, taking a step forward. Haseena immediately turned to go but Karishma stopped her, placing her hands on the slab edge of the washbasin from either side of Haseena, locking her in her place.

"Jaane dijiye hume", Haseena said, slightly pushing Karishma through her shoulder.

"Shauk se jao", Karishma replied casually, leaning more to her face, "maine toh tumhe padka bhi nahi hai!"

"Kyu kar rahi hai ap yeh!" Haseena uttered, turning her face to her right to avoid the tantalizing proximity between their faces but it only made Karishma nuzzle her face in her ever so slender neck, inhaling her intoxicating jasmine-like fragrance. Before Karishma could feel her softness against her lips, a flushed Haseena pushed her away before she would melt under her coaxing touch.

"Bas ek sawal ka jawab chahiye", Karishma replied, her eyes not leaving Haseena's even for a second. Haseena looked at her questionably as she continued, "Kab tak aise naraz rahogi mujhse?"

Karishma expected Haseena to ignore her as usual but to her surprise, she spoke, "Jab tak humara gussa shant nahi ho jata, tab tak!" her steady voice was void of any sort of sarcasm or jest.

"Aur kaise shant hoga yeh gussa? Batao mujhe, I am ready to do anything!" Karishma stated, determined to amend her mistake at any cost. Haseena could see the reflection of truthfulness and sincerity behind every word she uttered as she held eye contact.

"Do teen thappad lagane se kam ho sakte hai", Haseena answered, folding her hands over her chest.

Karishma's playful demeanor momentarily changed into shock at her words as no one had ever raised their hand at her but her guilt kept reminding her how she deserved this treatment for her insolence. "Go ahead", she said, ready to be chastised.

"Ap sachme hume bilkul nahi samajhti, Karishma!" Haseena uttered, her tender complaint tinged with a mix of hurt and compassion. Karishma looked up to her as she continued, "Apko lagta hai hum aap pe haath utha sakte hai?"

"But I deserve it, right?! I should have put you above everything, lekin mai nahi kar payi. Mujhe darr laga rehta hai, agar koi humare beech mei agaya aur tum mujhe dur chali gayi toh" Karishma tried to unlock her hidden fear of losing the love of her life but didn't realize how it might sound to the lady standing in front of her.

"Toh kya hum bad kirdaar hai? Koi bhi ayega aur hum uske saath chale jayenge?" Haseena seethed as a flare of misinterpretation clouded her thoughts.

"Nahi! Aisa nahi hai! I didn't mean...", Karishma ran her fingers in her hair in exasperation. She longed to convey the depth of the intensity of her emotions and the insecurities that plagued them but couldn't seem to do that. It felt so agonizing to her that her choice of words had only doubled the misunderstandings between them. She didn't know when the storm of emotions inside her had started to flow from her eyes as tears, mirroring her helplessness.

Haseena felt an indescribable pain in her heart at sight of a very vulnerable and remorseful Karishma in front of her, as if someone had clutched it tightly in their grip. A desperate yearning surged through her to hold Karishma into her protective embrace so that nothing could ever hurt her again and so she did as her hands encircled around Karishma, pulling her closer. Karishma, in an instinct movement, nestled herself in her embrace, clutching onto her as if the latter would disappear if she loosened her grip.

"Hasi, I really love you! Tumhare bina meri zindagi ka na koi maqsad hai, na koi matlab. It just feels so empty", Karishma's voice muffled against Haseena's shoulder, who caressed her hair softly, encouraging her to speak further. "I know I couldn't be more unreasonable and selfish, lekin mai chahti hu ke tum sirf mujhe dekho, mere saath baatein karo, tumhari dimple wali smile par aur tum par bas mera haq ho aur kisika bhi nahi. And it's not onto you, it's just my insecurities'', she paused as she rested her chin upwards on Haseena's shoulder, still clinging to her. "I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. Bas ek hafta aur and I will be gone anyway", her throat constricted as words struggled to come out of her mouth.