They talk about me like I'm not there
They talk about me like I don't have feelings
They talk about me like I'm a demon
They talk about me like I don't matter
Whenever I make a mistake that make sure to make it known
Whenever I cry they laugh
Whenever I let go of my emotions they come out wrong
Whenever I let go the wrong emotion leads
They say I'm so evil
They say I'm so mean
They say that I'm lazy
They say that I'm a mistake
I cry because I'm down
I cry because of what they say
I cry because I'm not her
I cry because I'm tired
I cry when they talk about me to my face
I cry when they talk about me behind my back
I cry when they are having fun n when I try to join the fun is done
I cry when I'm at home n all alone
I guess I'm not welcome
I guess I'm the outcast
I guess as soon as she came back the spotlight was gone
I guess my mom only likes me when she's not around
They all forgave her to easily
They all love her to much
They all took her in to fast
They all gave her so much
I think they hate me or at least don't like me
I think they all hate my personality
I think they laugh when I cry
I think they feel joy when I fall down
But as bad as this all sounds I'm okay
But as bad as this all sounds I know things will stay the same
But as bad as this all sounds I still stay and don't hurt myself
But as bad as this all sounds i still sometimes get my way
Why don't I hurt myself because I don't want the scars
Why don't I hurt myself because I don't want a lot of attention
Why don't I hurt myself because I tell myself it's a waste of time
Why don't I hurt myself because I want to give my mom at least one child who has no problems
Sometimes I wanna laugh
Sometimes I wanna cry
Sometimes I wanna yell
Sometimes I wanna die
But if you kill yourself your friends will cry
But if I kill myself will they really cry
But if you kill yourself your family will hurt
But if I kill myself will they really hurt
I feel like crying right now
I feel like I'm noticing something
I feel like I still have much to live
I feel like I need a break
Once everything happen I was happy
Once everything happened there attention was still on her
But they only used me as a replacement
But they only wanted a distraction
If I change my personality
If I change my mind
If I change the way I act towards her
Then will they have me around
I tired to be nice but they acted like I was so different from my usual self
I tired to play the victim role but it's not for me
I guess I'm really the bitch they say I am
I guess I'm really mean
What should I do
Oh what should I do
Should I try to change myself n pray that I become the star
Or should I stay the same.. the least favorite.. the outcast.. the evil one..
I guess I should have known
I guess I shouldn't care
I guess I shouldn't have hidden these feelings for so long
I guess I'm just a ticking bomb
(Hi my name is Nevaeh and this is how i feel.. I was really sad maybe even depressed when I wrote this😭.. but I'm better now I would like to think.. the background of this poem is that my sister ran away from home and I was getting everything I wanted.. but I knew it was all just because my sister wasn't there.. I was like there little play thing till my sister got back.. umm then my sister got back and I was so mad at her but it was like everyone just forgave her and it was just to fast for me I guess. So yea when I wrote this my sister n I had just got into a argument and I just couldn't say all my feelings out loud so I just wrote them in my notes.. and I wanted to do this because I just don't feel comfortable to say it to my family..)
