Get What You Deserve | LN Short Story

Get What You Deserve

A/N: I recommend listening to a sad song while reading this, it makes it more meaningful (I listened to milk cassette x.mp3 demo slowed and reverbed on Spotify while writing it). However, it's whatever you prefer, because I'm just happy you're here. :)

Loneliness was a highly underestimated emotion. It leaves one in a looping state of depression and insanity as it dives directly into one's heart and rips it up from the inside out until there is nothing left. Until one wants nothing more than to curl up into a ball until they disappear, sobbing uncontrollably into their clothes until there is nothing left, no more tears to shed, and left with an emotion much worse than sadness: complete, and utter emptiness.
Nothing.
Tearing you up, eating at you, causing you so much discomfort that you want to rip off your skin, tear out your heart or your brain or whatever it was causing you this pain....
To make it stop.
Your head going in circles, like a dog chasing its tail, knowing there was no point and having no idea what to do once it got there, if it ever did. Blaming; you and the person who caused you pain in the first place. Asking the same question over and over:
Why?
Mono ripped himself up into pieces as he sat eternally in the wooden chair, surrounded by an ominous purple light.
Why? Why did she do it? What did he do wrong?
The same questions, over and over again, never to prevail. The same answer, every single time.
Nothing.
Because she wasn't here, was she?
She was wherever that glowing white portal had taken her, illuminating the wall in front of him like an angel from heaven, singing to him that it was the way out, to freedom.
Before Six has dropped him.
Oh, how he wanted to kill her for that.
He bent his head and clutched it, squeezing his eyes shut, feeling an immense amount of guilt for the dark thoughts that plagued him. He didn't want to kill her, no, of course not. All he wanted was to feel her again, to hold her hand, to simply have a way of knowing she was safe, somewhere out there.
But he had helped her. He had broken her out of that prison, brought her back, risked everything to save her. He had gone through hell to get her back.
And what had she done?
She had dropped him right back into it.
Yes... yes, she deserved to know what it was like to go through what she had put him through. What she was still putting him through.
He opened his eyes and scanned the room around him: familiar, now, with its gray walls and vividly purple light; the door, directly in front of him, recognizable.
Forever waiting. For what, he wasn't quite sure, but he knew that if he just waited, he'd have the chance to take his revenge.
But was revenge what he really wanted?
Or what Six deserved?
She was just a child, after all, scared and confused in a monstrous world.
So was he.
What did it matter if she deserved it? He didn't, and she knew it too.
Arghhh. Mono gripped his head again and dug his fingers into his skull until it hurt. He was doing it again, going in endless circles, driving himself insane.

***

"Insane? Ha!" Mono said to no one in particular, or perhaps himself, his voice psychotic, eyes pulsing with crazy intentions. "I'm not insane! Just..."
He paused and his expression suddenly grew thoughtful and sad, younger, almost, "...alone."
He snapped his head to the side. And looked down to see a smaller version of himself, standing on the ground, tilting his head at him. "You're taller now," the younger Mono said sadly.
"Of course I am!" older Mono snapped, his tone unhinged. "That's how aging works."
Young Mono only looked disappointed as he stared at his older self. "Full of hatred. Come on, Mono, you're better than this."
Mono dug his fingernails into the wood of the chair, making indents. "You don't know what you're talking about!" he snarled with wild eyes.
Young Mono closed his eyes softly and looked away. "I brought you something," he replied calmly. He pulled out what appeared to be a music box from his pocket and lifted it up. The music box was about half his size, but he didn't seem to have a problem holding it.
Mono went quiet as he stared at it. The music box was playing a tune, one that was painfully recognizable. It brought unpleasant memories with it, he felt himself growing vulnerable.
"That's it," Young Mono said gently. "Remember who you are, Mono."
Mono immediately retaliated. He reached down, plucked the music box from his younger-self's grasp, and chucked it at the wall. It splintered into a million pieces, and he glared at where it had cracked the wall, imagining it had been Six instead and feeling a strange satisfaction out of it.
After a moment, he looked back down to tiny Mono, who looked slightly horrified but mostly just... sad. He looked at Mono, making him feel a little guilty. "Smashing her music box, huh?" he whispered. "Don't you think once was enough?"
"Defending her now?" Mono hissed.
"We broke her trust, man," he replied carefully.
Mono was trying not to burst into tears. He was better than that. "She didn't have to drop us! The little bi-"
"Don't you see what you're doing to yourself?" he interrupted, then sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingers. "Insanity isn't a good look on us."

***

Mono adjusted the hat on his head as he stared at the floor, thoughts empty.
"You're not listening to me," said a voice on his shoulder. "You cannot move from this chair, you hear me?"
Mono didn't reply.
"When that door opens, just stay here. Don't move." A pause. "Please."
"Why?" Mono finally asked, quietly. He turned to look at the tiny version of himself sitting tensley on his shoulder, looking incredibly anxious.
"Look, I know you're upset, but going after her does nothing, trust me." He rubs his hands together nervously, staring at the door in front of them. "Listen to me."
"I won't fail, not this time."
Young Mono groaned in frustration. "You always say that! Every time! And you fail every time."
Mono thinks for a moment. "She will get what she deserves," he finally replies quietly.
Young Mono stands and tugs desperately at a few strands of Mono's hair desperately. "Please listen to me!"
There is a sound at the door and the nob turns. Young Mono vanishes as the door creaks open, and a figure appears in the hallway.
All Mono can think as he stares at the figure is: She will get what she deserves.

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