Ryan.
Today was Gwen's funeral. It was the last time I saw her face, but it was not the same. It hurt to know that I will never again see the way her lips curled when she smiled at me, or the way she looked into my eyes and made me feel her love, I would never again see those blue eyes I had decided to see forever. But I didn't know forever was coming so fast.
So here I am, staring at her name, with a numb feeling in my heart.
Matthew waits for me on his car
I place flowers on her resting place
I drag myself to Matt's car
And the tears started falling.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
Gwen.
I finally know where I am
Everything here is just... the same.
I see people, and I see the building in which my apartment is.
Was this just a bad nightmare?
I walk all the way to my building, and the door is open, odd.
I pass the lobby through the stairs and walked all my way to the 5th floor, my floor.
I kept moving forward, unsure of what I was trying to prove.
No. 38
I knocked.
No answer.
I turned the handle.
Open.
I saw my appartment, just the way it was the last time I was here. I sigh. It was all definitely a bad dream. Maybe I just can't hear my own heartbeat. I walk my way to my room and lay in my bed. It's fixed, Ryan was surely here earlier. I look at my night table and see a picture of us and I remember the place. That's the place I woke up this morning. We look so happy and he's kissing my cheek. I smile as I notice I was wearing my favourite dress, a flower dress. My hair was tied in a ponytail and he was as handsome as usual, with his flawless brown hair, green eyes and sleeved t-shirt. I hug the picture and fall asleep.
- - - - - - - - - - -
Ryan.
"Hey man, If you want to stay over at my house I have no problem" - Matthew patted my back.
I took a deep breath. "Thank you. I just... I can't go in there anymore."
"It's okay. I understand." - he added - " But if you're staying at my house, you gotta eat ok?"
"I'm not hungry Matt..." - I looked out the window of the car. I heard him sigh silently, and suddenly I felt bad for him. He was just trying to be nice and I wasn't collaborative. - "Just today okay?, you can start buying me burgers from tomorrow on."
He smirked a bit "Okay, whatever your wishes are captain."
We arrived to his apartment. I locked myself in my new room. And just slept.
- - - - - - - - -
Gwen.
I woke up.
I saw the light entering through the bay view window on my room.
I left the picture on my bed and jumped out of it. Today was going to be a good day. I wasn't feeling sleepy, or tired, or hungry.
I saw the clock and it was 10 am.
I was late for work! I ran to my closet and grabbed the first nice clothes I found and just started to put them on, I didn't care about a shower.
I made my way to the kitchen and grabbed the... keys? The keys were not there, I looked on all the drawers, it must've been Ryan.
Ryan...
He hadn't showed up last night. That's why he had left the door unlocked.
A shiver ran through my spine as I remembered how the last days were. He would call me if he wasn't going to show up, If he ever did. So I knew he had someone else. I sighed and searched for my phone to give him a call, just to hear again his voice for what seemed like forever.
I searched my pockets, my purse, my bedtable and everywhere I had been, but I didn't find it either.
I saw the clock again and realised I had to get going. Even if I had to leave the door unlocked. I walked to the door and turned the handle. I couldn't open it. It was somehow stuck. Another shiver ran through my spine.
The door was unlocked.
