December 4th, 2014
7:45 AM
Gwen.
I woke up earlier than usual today, I was tired and felt sick so I decided not to go work.. but the only I reason I feel this way is because of how things have been going out for me lately. I get up of my bed and see that Ryan left already, I walk to the bathroom, shower and go to the kitchen to make some coffee. After the coffee was made, I sat down on the kitchen's counter and started drinking it.
I have noticed some of my friends had been acting weirdly towards me the last few days, like they're getting distant, and then my boyfriend Ryan started to act less interested, like if everything I say is boring and doesn't get his attention. I act like this doesn't bother me, but in fact I've been going crazy. They won't answer my texts, won't pick up when I call and I wonder if this is my fault, I can't be going through this again, not Ryan. I look around me and all of my friends just left me, I can't believe all of this has to happen to me now... just after getting fired from my work and loosing contact with my family.
I stare at the wall in my kitchen whilst I take a sip of my coffee and I just can't seem to stop thinking.
- - - -
December 5th
10:00 A.M
Ryan.
Today is a very beautiful day, it's a misty day but the climate is so chill I could admire it all day, the breeze is cold and the city view from my office looks spectacular. There's mist covering the houses with two floors or less and the buildings are just half misty, as If we were in a cloud. And that view really seems to calm my nerves today... a big day.
I knew I had to print some things and my printer was not working, so I got up and went to the printer machine outside, as soon as I got out I heard Matt.
"Ryaaan, how's all going with Gwen?" - asked one of my friends, he must've heard the rumours. And I laughed.
"Matthew, things have never been going better between Gwen and I" - I said smiling, I loved Gwen like I never loved anybody. - "Today's the day man!"
"So gay dude, but wow, I hope you do really good, I mean your girlfriend's really hot, like really.. and those blue sexy eyes she..."
"OKAY.. Man" I interrupted "I got it, stop talking about my girlfriend that way... douche!" - I laughed... Matthew was always so odd but, he was just the kind of guy I would trust all my stuff to, he's always very truthful with every thing. -
"Fine, Ryan, but it's the truth" - he laughed, before going back to work.
I finished printing shortly after and then I just went back to my office for 6 more hours.
4:30 PM.
I finally got out of work, I wish I could just go straigh to Gwen's, but i'm meeting up with my sister Allysa to discuss how I will make things tonight.
- - - - - - - - - - - - -
"How's the ignoring thing going? " She asked "Is she already falling for the whole 'she got boring' stuff?" I sigued a bit, I really didn't like what I was doing, but I believed in Alyssa.
"Well, she has definetly been bitting the hook, and I have to admit, it is so hard not to laugh at her clumsiness and kiss her. On the pro side, I think she has no idea what will happen today" -a small curve formed in my lips, then I made it dissapear - "but... isn't it rude to make her think I'm not that interested anymore?"
"Nah darling... she probably feels weird right now but believe me, what you will ask her will boost her smile when you say the words" - she smiled
"Well that smile's the plan" - I laughed and went to the first step of my plan.
- - -
5:45 PM
Gwen.
I didn't go to work today, instead I just started to get drunk in my apartment room, I think I had a few drinks more than I should've had... but thing is, I got a call from Ryan, and he told me we should have a serious conversation, and sure thing I know what this means, he's gonna dump me because I got boring and I wasn't enough, and I can't stand it.. everything started to make sense, he wouldn't smile after I got clumsy, he didn't pay attention to my stuff, and I feel like all of the fears I had is coming true. I can't live without Ryan...
I started crying, so pathetic, that's how I felt. I went up to my apartment room and hid myself in my room, afraid of what would happen, and how I would handle it. But the truth is, I can't even handle the idea. It started to go in circles in my head, my brain just spoke "what if's", "what would you do?" "You cant live without him" and before I could center myself in the gravity of earth, I realized one thing.
I had swallowed half a bottle of sleeping pills and I just stared at the empty bottle, completely numb.
- - -
6:10 PM
Ryan.
The plan all along was to get into the apartment before her, make a little joke, laugh and make her use the ring. But that's not what happened today...
I saw the keys on the counter when I entered Gwen's apartment. I thought, this could mean just a little change of plans, but it was all still the same. I got close to her room and tried to hear inside, and nothing was to be heard, just silence.
Maybe Gwen had just fallen asleep, she sometimes get stressed at work and grabs a sleeping pill to sleep, she would't wake up until tomorrow... another change of plans. I walked inside the room without turning the lights on, In a plan to sleep with her through the night.. but instead I rehearsaled the words I would tell her tomorrow.
"Gwen, I love you like I never loved anybody else, I was just joking about not paying you attention, and It was hard, you make me smile with everything you do, I can't ever stop admiring how perfect you are to me, and because of how we blend in together I bought this, to show you this!" -I pulled out a ring and sat next to Gwen. - "You are the girl who I want to annoy me, make me laugh and drive me nuts for the rest of my life... Would you marry me?" - I smiled and put the ring away.
7:00
I was planning on staying at Gwen's today, but I got a call from Alyssa, I guess I'll have to wait a little bit longer to tell Gwen the ultimate question.
We could forever be Gwen and Ryan, until death splits us appart.
