Keeping up with The Ga's and The Gar's

Script Episode 1 Welcome to Ju Climpuright

The Village of Ju Climpuright

Narrator (Kim K.): In the year 2024, we have Keeping Up with The Kardashians. But in the year 3, we have Keeping up with The Ga's and The Gar's.

- Pan to Darga's house -

Darga: (grunts gibberish caveman words to Suzie-May)

Suzie-May: (in the most proper English accent) Mum stop talking to me like I'm an infant.

Darga: Oh- Sorry Missy-may. You just mature so quickly!

- Blargo enters (cue applause) –

Blargo: (Southern American accent) Honey, boulder lifting today was tough!

- Darga turns to him, sighing –

Darga: Oh Blargo! You're being so dramatic

- Audience 'Oooos' –

Suzie-may: Father, mother and I have made possum's butthole for supper tonight. Before dusk, we shall rest on our boulders.

Blargo: ... Okay.

- Scene Skip –

(takes place in the dark boulder that is considered Zarg's home. Flaggie is bagging on the door trying to get in. They argue through the door)

Flaggie: (Beverly Hills accent) It's not what it looks like, babe! I promise he's just a friend-

Zarg: (cutting her off, ((Roadman accent)) I saw what I saw! Don't try to lie to me. I see through yours and Blargo's façade.

Flaggie: This can't be the end of us please, Zarg!

Zarg: I've made my decision. Go home before I call the JCPD.

(Flaggie continues yelling as the camera pans to Janaeh, gardening while listening to the fight)

- Janaeh moves closer to the fence separating the yards. She begins jumping up and down to get a better view of what's happening. Before she lands and steps on a twig. This makes Flaggie and Zarg snap their heads to see what the noise was. Before finding out their plan worked and someone did indeed hear them. They smile before turning back to each other and continuing the fake argument. –

Flaggie: Fine! Be that way! I don't need you or your tiny little dinger anyways!

-she stomps away loudly enough for Janaeh to hear and gets in her flintstones-car and runs off. Janaeh runs inside and calls up Darga to tell her the tea on her stone-phone.-

-camera pans to the inside of janaeh. The scene is cut in two. Darga on one side and Janaeh on the other-

Janaeh: Dargs, you will NOT believe what I just heard.

Darga: Oh my gosh, DISH

Janaeh: My hot neighbor, yknow the new one, he was yelling at that crazy blonde bimbo, the one wearing the denim 24/7. He said she cheated on him with... with... uhm...

Darga: Spit it out, Janaeh. WHO?

Janaeh: ... BLARGO ...

- Darga is silent on the other line of the stone-phone. She sits on a chair to take in the news before hanging up abruptly. The camera then becomes one full screen focused on just Janaeh –

Janaeh: Darga? Hello?

- Scene finishes. It pans to the next day as Darga is taking Suzie-May to kindergarten. She is clearly upset by everything but hasn't had the chance to speak to Blargo as he is at boulder lifting –

Darga: Okay Suzie-May, enjoy school today!

Suzie-May: I will be seeing you later, Mother. I sincerely hope you have a joyful day filled with success and happiness. Farewell.

- Suzie-May runs inside the school-boulder. The camera turns to a new teacher walking in. He passes Darga. This teacher happens to be Zarg –

Zarg: Oh! Hello, my name is Zarg. I'm the new teacher here at Ju Climpuright. Which kid is yours?

- Darga turns to him –

Darga: Oh, hello. My kid is Suzie-May, the one in pigtails.

Zarg: She is such a polite little runt.

- Darga replies all flustered –

Darga: I don't know where she gets it from.

Zarg: I have a feeling she gets it from you.

Darga: I know this is a funny question, but I just found out my husband has been cheating on me and was wondering if you would like to go out for mammoth milk later?

- Episode ends automatically, ending credits roll, with theme music playing –